I hold grudges. Like a lot. Over really stupid things, too. To be honest you can wrong me substantially and as long as you apologize I'll forgive you but never forget, but if it's inconsequential it generally goes unnoticed but my sensitive dumbass self internalizes it and I just hold onto it for YEARS. Once in fifth grade...well I'll give you some backstory. I was like that one nerdy kid in elementary school who kNEW everything and was a total stuck up prick and tbh I still am? I'm a condescending asshole but I've gotten better at hiding it lmao At least, I hope I have... Anyway, I was that one kid that whizzed every test without studying, could solve complicated math problems that no one else could, etcetera, etcetera,, I based all my self esteem around my intellect. That was it, basically. I wasn't very physically fit and I wasn't particularly pretty, I couldn't draw well back then and I was too scared of anything acting/singing related so that was off the table. The brittle little tower of my self esteem was held up by my stellar brain. Then, my creativity. Then my kindness, and then...my physical ability, looks, charisma, and all that.
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Once one falls, the others aren't exactly doing good. But that's really off topic let me get back to why I was pissy in the first place. So something comes up and one of my friends says that Jeremy, another kid in our grade, is the smartest student at our school. And I know he didn't mean it offensively, but COME ON, MAN, HAVE SOME COMMON SENSE. He didn't know it bothered me, I never told him. That was almost five years ago, and yet, sometimes I still think about it and feel a flash of bitterness. OH! Or that time one of my other guy friends insulted my dancing, which granted, at the time, my dancing sucked, but still it hit me hard and I didn't dance for like three years after that so uh fuck you Tyler OR, when my 8th grade PE teacher said, while I was visibly crying, "once I had a student that physically couldn't run, and he got a better mile time than you," THANKS MAN I REALLY APPRECIATE YOUR SUPPORT. Tl;dr I'm a bitter person and i get pissy over literally nothing.
