Bitter Silence (on hold)

Chapter 5

I stare at the picture, my weary eyes growing tired and a few tears slide down my face. What did I do wrong? Did I say something, maybe I'm just not good enough. All my scars and bruises how do people not notice them, how do they just walk by when they see me, how do they not stop and help. I love my father, I love him so much but when he does these things to me, I wonder. Does he love me too? I slowly and painfully make my way to the kitchen limping with every step I take. I need to find myself, I can't be lost any longer. I take one of the sharp daggers and hold my arm out. I need to feel something pain, happiness, I need to feel something! I cut and try to feel, but I don't, I don't feel anything and I drop the knife. I'm hollow. My insides are so destroyed so beat they struggle to function. I limp back into my bedroom and fall to the floor wondering and just thinking. How much more can I take? How much longer until my body just refuses to take any more? How much time do I have until it's all over? Most of all how will it end? If I kill myself right here, right now, will god still love me? Will he understand why I did it? I hear a familiar clicking sound at the door and close my eyes. I take a deep shaky breath scared of what's gonna happen next. He comes in slamming the door behind me and picks me up by my shirt collar and throws me back down practically giving me whiplash. He bends down on his knees, his face inches from mine. "Get up" he says the smell of alcohol lingering on his breath. I scrunch my face, the alcohol filling my nostrils so I'm not able to smell anything else. I push myself unwillingly to get up and almost immediately stumble backwards losing my balance. My father shoves me out of my room and and pushes me towards the door. He shoves me into the backseats of his car and he starts driving.

He stops the car furiously and my body slams into the seat in front of me. I get out of the car and look at the huge building that stands before me. Intersections of the Arts. I put on a puzzling face and look at my father but all he does is just shove me into the building. "Hello, welcome to intersections dance academy, how can I assist you today" the lady at the front desk gives a warm welcoming smile, she seems annoying. "Ya I'm just gonna sign her up for a class" my father says in a tone I've never heard before. "Yes of course we have, dancing, acting, and singing, which will it be. "Um she'll do dancing" my father says kindly. " ok all I need to know is how old she is so I can put her in her category of age" the lady says, she looks at me she then loses her smile and stares at my bruised face. I start to feel a little insecure and look away from the lady who notices that I know she's looking and starts to rapidly type again "she's ten" my fathers says, Im surprised, I didn't know he knew my age. The lady looks up at him smiles and keeps typing. "You can send her in studio B they're just waiting for the teacher I'll inform her she's new too" the lady walks out from behind her desk and waves at me to follow behind her. After a few turns left and right she opens a door to reveal a bunch of kids stretching. I gently brush the deep black bruise on corner of my eye and I feel eyes attach on to my every move making me feel like I'm a homeless scavenger. I try to stretch in the corner still feeling eyes on me when I feel a tap on my shoulder and i flench. "Oh my gosh did I scare you I'm sorry I didn't mean to" I turn around and look up to see a tall pale, blonde girl obviously older than I was I'd say thirteen, twelve maybe. "Oh it's okay it's just I, I get scared easily" I lied every time someone touches me its to physically harm me " oh well sorry for the scare but anyways, I'm Saydee I've been here for three years now and I passionately love dancing, singing, acting, and um shopping so ya call me a girly girl but I'm used to it so its okay" she gives me a warm welcoming smile and I return it with a pained one. "I'm Anna, and uh I don't, dance, or sing, or physically do anything, uh all my bruises are from softball we don't have good players and they miss all the time, let's say their aim isn't, well, spot on, were sort of like, well Id say a handy capped team, but ya that's it, that's uh, well, me, just waiting to get hit by that really miss aimed softball" I say lying to her sounding more depressed than Ive ever sounded when i realize that I have only said like twenty sentences in my whole life which to an average human is very, very little. Saydee smiles at me again " well you wanna come stretch with us I'll introduce you to everyone" she smiles, her smile spreading from ear to ear and her pretty blue eyes are filled with beaming hope and love. Saydee extends her hand out to me and I graciously take it and I follow her to her 'clique'. Everyone' smiles at me " hi I'm Danny" the nice and incredibly cute boy says causing me to turn cherry red and he extends his hand out to me and after awhile I get the memo and shake it. "Not much of a people person are ya" he says causing me to blush a little more, "huh, DANNY, don't be like that she's probably just shy, sorry about him Im Delaney" a girl with brownish red hair says " you're really lucky you're just in time for the Frozen play were doing" she says her hazel brown mixed with caramel yellow sparkly eyes beam with delight. How do these people contain their happiness and not explode rainbows and stars and hearts. "That girl over there is Emily she's a bit of a downer but don't get in her way cause she'll teach you a lesson or two if ya do" Saydee says with warning in her voice as she points to a red headed girl with shimmering brown eyes. "Oh and there, over there that's Casey, she's a dingus always clumsy, tripping over her own two feet" Danny says and I write a mental note of it trying not to look at his adorable face which will cause me to blush. Looking over to where Danny points is standing and tall brunette with deep beautiful brown eyes showing off her flexibility but when she brings her leg back down to the ground she stumbles causing everyone to chuckle. "And last but not least is Jason, he acts like a total blonde, no offense Saydee but he does and it's really, really aggravating" says Delaney pointing over to what looks like a surfer dude with killer blue eyes and dirty blonde hair and he falls into a split making my eyes widen. "Ugh he's showing off again, what a weirdo" Saydee says "ya totally showing off, hey Saydee do I ever show off" "huh ya but it's cute when you do it you kinda look like a helpless kitten" says Saydee and Danny blushes maybe he likes Saydee I mean she's really, really, really pretty with her beach blonde hair rolled up into a messy bun darker at the top and lighter at the bottom. Her perfect stormy blue eyes twinkle at just the right times with a great smile and cute freckles too. I'm a little less detailed with dirty blonde hair emerald green eyes mixed with Carmel yellow no freckles but a lot, and I mean A LOT of bruises.

When dance is over I'm thrown into my room again just like a dog is thrown into a crate. But I don't mind I probably had the best day I had in years which make me happy. Happy. That's a weird word I'm more used to sad, depressed, hollow, no emotion. This is different I have this tingling feeling inside that makes me want to smile but I don't at the same time it's like day fighting with night as night is conquering day ever so quickly but day has it's weapons too and it's determined to win this fight against the evilness of dark. I hope the happiness wins.

Guys I want to say thank you so much for the support you guys give me, every read brightens up my day and I'm so thankful for you guys. If you like this chapter please comment and hit that vote I love it when you give me that one vote and so I made this chapter longer cause all the other ones are short so this is like a make up for all the times I said I was gonna make them longer and then didn't. But I'm really, really thankful for all of you, you guys are my (Infinite Angles) and I hope you enjoy the rest of the story :) :) :) :) xx My_secondlife ;)