the match (luke hemmings au)

pt. 5

The lump in my throat grew two sizes. After all of this time how could neither of us known?

"So what did you want to talk about?" Luke asked as he pulled on a pair of underwear and a black t-shirt, covering the mark on his shoulder.

"Oh, yeah- I, uh,-" I was stumbling over my words, "I just- I don't feel very good, I'll talk to you later," I spit out before ripping the door open.

I heard Luke call out my name in the distance but I was already in the stairwell, and I knew he wouldn't chase me in just his underwear. I stopped when I reached the third floor, panic overtaking my body.

What does this mean? How is this going to change everything? I wasn't ready to leave behind my whole life to go live with Luke Hemmings in some random city I've never been before. I felt tears begin to brim my eyes as I gripped the metal railing, attempting to calm myself. I was on the verge of a panic attack. I refused to let this happen in a random stairwell. I could make it back to my dorm and let it all out there.

I pushed open the heavy door, the cool evening air felt refreshing as it hit my face. My throat felt like it was constricting and no amount of air I inhaled felt like it was enough. I was about halfway to the residence hall when I heard my name being called out.

"Riles!"

I turned around to see Emma, clad in her work polo and visor. Shit, she must have just gotten off work. I rubbed my eyes quickly, hoping she wouldn't notice and attempted to swallow the lump in my throat.

"Hey," I said in a fake chipper voice.

"What's up? Where are you headed back from?" she asked, concern written across her face.

"Just heading back from the library," I muttered, "They didn't have the book I needed and I nearly got into a fight with the librarian,"

Emma chuckled, "Well I'm sure you could find it online,"

"Yeah," I said as I sniffed my nose. The tears in my eyes wouldn't go away and the knot in my stomach was tightening. Em didn't know about Luke and I hooking up. How could I just drop this bomb on her? Should I even tell her? I thought about it and maybe just telling her about the sex part would be a good start. It would be nice to talk about my feelings. Maybe speaking them aloud would help me come to a conclusion.

"There's something I've been meaning to tell you," I began as we made our way down the hall to our room, "I don't want you to hate me..." I trailed off.

Emma pulled out her key and began unlocking the door, "I could never hate you Riley, it can't be that bad."

We entered the dorm and I walked over and sat on the edge of Em's bed as she began changing out of her work clothes.

"Well," I tried to swallow the lump in my throat, but it was adamant about staying, "I've kind of been hooking up with someone,"

"WHAT?!?" Emma had stopped what she was doing, her shirt halfway up her face.

"Yeah, it's not anything serious. Just an occasional fuck-and-leave," I hoped that saying that out loud would make me believe it in my heart, but I had solid proof that whatever Luke and I had going on was quite the opposite.

"With who," she had dropped her shirt and came to sit next to me on the bed.

"Oh you're gonna kill me," I said quietly.

"Riley Marie Greene, who have you been sleeping with?" she all but yelled.

"Luke Hemmings," I said so quietly, I couldn't even hear myself.

"Speak up!"

"Luke Hemmings," I said, louder this time.

"Riley Greene, you have NOT been sleeping with Luke Hemmings and not telling me about it," she got up from her position next to me.

"I'm so sorry Emma, I just knew you wouldn't approve and I didn't want to embarass myself like that," I sighed, putting my face in my hands.

I wanted to cry again. If she was this upset now, how would she react when she found out that Luke was my match? That I would be forced to leave her behind and move so far away, probably never seeing her again in my life?

Tears overflowed from my eyes, the sound of my sobs getting increasingly louder. This was such a mistake. Why did I ever sleep with Luke Hemmings?

I was too caught up in my thoughts, I hadn't heard the door slam shut.

By the time I realized she was gone, I had calmed down a little. Why was Emma so upset that I had been sleeping with him? I mean, I get that I had been lying to her all this time. It had been eating me alive, so in a way I was relieved that she finally knew. But to storm out? That seemed a little dramatic, even for Emma.

Even though I was upset with the way that she reacted, I was relieved to be alone with my thoughts. That's why I had originally wanted to come back to the dorm in the first place.

I was overwhelmed by the sheer reality that my whole life was never going to be the same if Luke knew we were a match. All of the paperwork we would have to fill out, telling all of our friends and family, leaving behind everything we ever knew to go live in S'agapo. Most people called it "The City of Love" because that is where you were forced to spend the rest of your life with your match, if you ever found them. The big incentive for finding your match -well that and you know, true love or whatever-, based on rumours I've heard, everyone there lives the sweet life. Nice houses, fancy cars, and no bills. Everything was free.

The only way you could leave S'agapo was if you decided to have children. This was because they didn't have their match, so they technically are not allowed to live there. But, I was not planning to have any kids, so basically Luke and I would be stuck there alone for the rest of our lives.

To be completely honest, I was also a little concerned about what people would think. Luke Hemmings did not have the best reputation in our community. He was a womanizer. What kind of light would that shed on me, his soulmate? My parents were going to be so disappointed. They had no right to be; I did not have a say in this, yet they would find a way to blame it all on me.

Maybe it would be good to get away from all of this. I wouldn't have to worry about my school, my parents, or money. It would be a permanent vacation. Except Luke would always be there with me. It wouldn't be too bad right? We had to have something in common.

I got up and grabbed my phone from my desk. My whole lockscreen was text notifications from Luke.

hey, you ok?

you seemed really spooked when you left

are you feeling any better?

did i do something wrong?

riley?

if you don't reply soon, i'm coming to your dorm

The last text was sent nearly ten minutes ago, which meant he could be here any minute.

How was I going to face him? The thought made my stomach do flips. I barely had any time to think about what I was going to say when I heard a knock on my door.