Stuck on Mute

"Are you ready? This is your last performance of the year," My brother encouraged me. I hadn't been feeling very well a few days back, and I was afraid if that was going to affect my singing. My voice had been all raspy, and singing a lot hurt. I gulped.

"Ha. What are you saying? I can sing through anything." I gave myself some self-encouragement. My brother smiled.

"That's my girl," He said, and hugged me.

"Darian, stop that," I muttered, feeling slightly embarrassed.

"What? I'm the only cool brother that would hug my younger sister," He winked at me, and that got a little laugh out of me.

"Just get out of here!" I said playfully, as he was already walking through one of the curtains that enclosed me. From here on, I'd be on my own...

I started feeling that awful wrenching in my chest. I tried to cough as quietly as I could. I felt faint, so I sat on a convenient box on the ground. My head was spinning, but I knew a performer had to go through anything. Maybe I was just nervous. I shouldn’t let a few nerves get to me….

"It's not something I can't handle," I said quietly to myself.

"And now, what you all have been waiting for, our grand finale performance, Adisa Herrington!" That was my queue to go. I stood up, grabbed my microphone, and plastered a soft smile on my face. No way was I going to show any weakness to thesepeople. I was going to sing!

The curtains drew away from me, and I walked steadily to the center of the stage.

"How are you all doing today?" I called out, gripping the microphone harder in my hand. I was answered with a nice cheer from the crowd.

"Are you ready?!" I called out, the intro to my song starting. I could feel my toes tingling, my throat was preparing to make the first note.

"Dancing bears, painted wings

Things I almost remember

And a song someone sings

Once upon a December." I felt dizzy, and the waves of nausea washed over me. However, I kept singing. I would not let this get to me.

"Someone holds me safe and warm

Horses prance through a silver storm

Figures dancing gracefully

Across my memory.”

I really felt like I needed to die. The wrenching feeling in my throat wasn’t letting up. Still, this was the best song I had sung in all my years of singing professionally. I wasn't going to let the year end with me not being able to sing.

"Far away, long ago

Glowing dim as an ember

Things my heart used to know

Once upon a December.

Someone holds me safe and warm

Horses prance through a silver storm

Figures dancing gracefully

Across my memory" I was more than halfway through the song. I tried not to cringe as my chest tightened some more. My hand felt sweaty. I was worrying about this too much. I just neededto calm down and focus.

“Far away, long ago

Glowing dim as an ember