No strings attached

Diary Entry #2: Ian and Ethan

September 10, 2005

Saturday

Dear Cleo,

            I think there is something wrong with Ian. He’s avoiding me. I’m not sure what I did but he’s angry at me about something.  

He went to school on Thursday and he was acting really weird. Normally, between our small circle of friends,  after we’ve been away from each other, we would immediately let each other know if we’ve arrived from wherever we went and we would just hang-out together and talk. But he didn’t call me nor let me know that he was still alive. At first, I thought that he was still away, but, when I went to the cafeteria during lunch, I saw Ian hanging out with Jason Stoltfuz’s gang.  He used to tell me to stay away and not to talk to Jason and his posies because they were bad influences. I listened to him because to me, Ian is like Albert, an older brother who would protect me, someone I respect, love and trust. Although we both know the fact that I’m actually older than him for exactly one month, but it doesn’t really matter since he is capable of being mature if the situation calls for it. And Teddy doesn’t really count as an older brother, he’s more like the baby. He may act tough on the outside but in the inside, he’s a real softy!

            With that put aside, I waited for Ian to approach me before the afternoon classes started.  I was already rehearsing in my head the speech I was going to give him. I was sitting by the exit door so I knew that he would see me when he leaves. It was about a quarter before lunch break was over when I saw Ian walking to my direction. I stood up and we held eye contact for a minute but he looked away. I figured that he was probably ashamed of himself for not greeting his best friend earlier.  I felt sorry for him so I mentally restructured my speech to make it less offensive.  He was about a foot away from me when I opened my mouth to speak. I was expecting him to stop and listen to me then I will let him apologize. But he did not. He just passed by me as if I wasn’t there.

“Ian!” I called out as I turned to his direction. “Kristian Marcus Caldwell, Wait up!” I ran after him then I grabbed his arms. “ Hey! I said wait up! Why didn’t you stop?”

He shook off my hold at him then he continued walking. He didn’t even spare me a glance! He just simply walked out on me as if I wasn’t there...it was as if he just walked out of my life.

I was in total state of shock that I just stood idly with my mouth gaping like an idiot. I was sure it was him. There was no doubt about it. But why did he ignore me? I held my head down. I felt my body being pushed by others as they hurried down to their class. It was my first time to be treated like that by someone. To be treated as someone who does not exist. Even if he and I had some fights in the past, we still talk and hang-out together. He has always been beside me and I thought that we would be like that forever. I really have no idea of what’s happening to us…to him. I haven’t done anything wrong to him, have I?

            “Are you alright?” someone asked me. I was so busy contemplating the situation to myself that I haven’t noticed that I have been pushed out of the hallway and was already down on the floor. I slowly lifted my head to direction of the voice. I knew it wasn’t Ian but some part of me was wishing it was him. I looked up and saw the most beautiful pair of green eyes that I have ever seen in my entire life. I knew those eyes. I’ve seen them before and then I remembered.

            “Ethan?” I said. He smiled and it showed off his perfect set of straight pearly white teeth. He was still as cute as ever. His red hair that slightly covered his eyes reminded me of blood. It also added a mysterious charm in his personality. His black shirt enhanced the beauty of his eyes. He offered his hand to help me stand up. I took it then he pulled me up. “Thanks.”  

            “It’s good to know that you still remember me, Joan,” said he. I blinked a couple of times, astounded by the fact that he still remembers me.

            “Why won’t I?” I asked with a smile. I was trying to hide my mixed feelings. I was happy that he still remembers me but I’m still troubled by the way Ian treated me. “How are you?”

            “I’m fine,” answered he,” how about you? You looked dazed a couple of minutes ago. What’s wrong?”

            “Oh. It was nothing, I was just thinking about something,” I answered.

            “On the floor?” he said.

            “Yup! You’ll be amazed how comforting it is to think while sitting on the floor.” Ugh! Lame retort! I could’ve thought of something better if my mind wasn’t preoccupied with thoughts of Ian.

            “Right,” he said,” Are you alright now, though?”

            “Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine, thanks; I’d better go to class now,” I said as I offered my hand for him to shake,” it was nice seeing you again.” He took and shook it.

            “Same here,” said he,” but if ever you want to talk about it, feel free to call me. You do still have my number, don’t you?”

            “Actually, no. my friend borrowed my phone and lost it,” I answered.

            “Figures,” said he,” the kids from the summer camp have been meeting up even after the camp. We’ve been wondering why you haven’t been  able to attend the gatherings.”

            “Sorry about that,” I answered.

            “Why don’t you give me your number? I’ll take the responsibility to disseminate it to the others,” said he. So, I gave him my number.

            “See you!”

            I was in a complete daze as I walked to my next class. I wanted to shout for joy but my heart was crying for Ian.

            It’s Saturday now and I just called Ian’s house. But Ian wasn’t home. He went out with Jason. I guess he is now one of Jason’s “posies”. But I don’t care. I’m not going to give up my best friend just like that. I want to know what’s wrong and I’ll try to figure out something to clear out this mess. I’ll get him back. I promise you that, Cleo.

Yours truly,

Joan