Fake Love 《Jikook》

7

The soft promise of a good-time just doesn’t do it for Hoseok.

He’s here at a club – well it seems to be a club – shamelessly hitting on the first person he deemed attractive. Well, she is but she lacks height, grace, beauty and a specific deep voice that Hoseok has grown so used to.

He tries so hard to be enamored by the girl – to feel the same rush he used to get when chatting with pretty strangers. They used to be entertaining to say the least. Different and mysterious. It was so easy to fall in love with a stranger that didn’t promise a tomorrow and as ambiguous the following events could be Hoseok need not be tied down to them.

However, it lacks. This lacks so much.

He doesn’t want it anymore. He wants the same wide box grin he used to see daily to always be by his side. He wants the promise of affection from someone he has been constantly denying.

He’s such a fucking idiot.

“I’m sorry, I have a boyfriend.” He apologizes earnestly not missing how the girl’s eyes widen in surprise. He didn’t even ask her name.

There is but a single thought on his mind – Kim Taehyung.

Jimin recalls his first memory of Taehyung. The way the very attractive roommate had asked for his name, never letting down his smile. Jimin had his guard up but only because he doesn’t do well with strangers.

Taehyung always respected his privacy and was super mindful of Jimin whenever he’d try to initiate conversation between them. He was also always thankful of Jimin for taking care of him in his own silent way – the way Jimin would tidy his side of the room or leave a snack behind most of the times.

It was probably when Taehyung told Jimin that he’s by far the most important person in his life that Jimin had fallen in love. Being needed, carrying importance; it was euphoric to say the least.

Taehyung was entirely oblivious to how he made his way into Jimin’s heart and mind through his normal friendly gestures. Gestures he had for everyone but they meant so much more to Jimin – he who thought he could feel like this for no other. Even when Jimin befriended other people he’d find himself unconsciously falling back to the comfort and promise of being Taehyung’s best friend.

Love was supposed to simple, perfect – yet it carried such consequences. Jimin’s biggest fear was easily losing Taehyung because of what he felt for the other but currently as they sit reminiscing their friendship he can’t help but feel lost.

He feels lost because what was once supposed to be a time of endless attraction now seems like a stubborn chase. He really was stupid. They sit in the comfort of the familiar aroma of pizza and Pepsi, making light to insignificant details they’ve noticed around them such as the bizarre coming of age.

When did he fall in love? He reckons he was always in love with Taehyung, but it doesn’t feel the same anymore. Where Jimin would try his hardest to find an excuse to spend time with Taehyung the one thought on his mind is not Taehyung.

He’s more occupied with thinking about the showcase tomorrow as well as the ending of his arrangement with Jeongguk.

He only wishes that it’s as easy losing Jeongguk.

“Hoseok wants me to meet him…” Taehyung announces catching Jimin’s attention.

There is hesitance painted all over his features, doubt and regret an ugly silhouette that makes Jimin find a striking resemblance in the image he sees. He sees himself in Taehyung right now – the hopeless romantic who wanted nothing more than his best friend’s attention.