Favoring Fortuna

Chapter 7

She woke up disoriented, immediately recognizing that she wasn't in her own bed, and a few seconds later it registered that she was naked and there was someone else in the bed with her. She could feel panic begin to choke her knowing that could only mean one thing, and she couldn't help but berate herself. Why did she never learn? How did she manage to always get herself in situations like this? If the past had taught her anything, it should have been to never sleep with a guy until she was sure of what they wanted, and even though she knew Finn wasn't like the first man she'd slept with-she was sure that he hadn't done everything he'd done for her just to get her in bed-that almost made it worse. Everything had been going so well, and yeah she'd admitted to herself that she wanted him, but you'd think she would have had enough sense not to let him know that, even if she had been drinking.

She was having trouble getting her brain to function fully, drawing a blank on most of the evening and just how they'd gotten from there to here. Her stomach rolled ominously and she wasn't sure if it was the fault of her current anxiety or the aftereffects of the alcohol. She rolled towards the side of the bed, not sure what she was going to do but feeling the need to do something when she felt him stir beside her.

"Morning. Bathroom's the door on the left," he said sleepily. She sat up and thankfully her stomach didn't give her any more trouble, however the sheet slipping brought a whole new set of worries as she frantically searched the floor for clothes, still not sure on the when and where she'd lost them. Her gasp as she caught it before it slid too far must have alerted him as she felt the bed move. She looked back to see him leaning over the other side of the bed and when he rolled back he had a t-shirt in his hand which he wordlessly handed to her. She mumbled 'thanks' as she slipped it on, not glancing back as she beat a hasty retreat to the bathroom.

After she'd relieved herself, she washed her hands and splashed cold water on her face, feeling a little of the panic recede. She braced her hands on the counter staring at herself in the mirror and willing her brain to work. Slowly the memories started to trickle in. She hazily recalled enjoying their meal together and ending up on the couch afterwards, playfully arguing over which movie to watch. She remembered the two of them getting so involved in talking that they'd missed most of it anyway, and then her brain finally produced the biggest missing piece to the puzzle as she recalled a moment when they'd been laughing over something and he'd paused, looked at her and then asked,

"Can I kiss you?"

She'd been frozen in place, wanting it so bad, afraid to believe it was really happening, not knowing what to say, and panicking as she realized how much time had passed when he'd brought a hand up to cup her face and leaned in close. He'd paused giving her one last chance to say no, and then he'd kissed her.

Her hands started shaking on the counter as she realized that this was real. He'd been the one to initiate it, not her, and holy hell what a kiss it had been. She had never in her life been kissed like that, never felt that kind of heat and passion from a simple kiss, and at least now she knew why she'd broken that promise she'd made to herself. It would have taken the self control of a saint to walk away from a kiss like that. Everything was hazy and patchy still, but bits and pieces of the rest of their night came to her in flashes of hot kisses, hands on her skin, and clothes on the floor.

She shouldn't have slept with him (she'd only really known him a few days!), but she couldn't exactly be mad at herself knowing the kind of losing battle she would have faced if she'd tried to walk away. She also reminded herself that she'd tried playing it safe before too. She'd followed all of the rules last time, and that hadn't exactly worked out for her either. She just had to hope and pray that this didn't come back to bite her in the end. She would have to guard her heart carefully, to try and accept whatever came of this without placing too many expectations on it.