Missing Her

Dear Fonna

Her touch, her smile and her everything were once mine. I never knew she would have gone to like someone else, I am so damn confident she won't but like in every other story, she did. She certainly do like someone else and even if I'm a man tears from my eyes were visibly clear. Knowing that other man apart from you is loving someone you dear. That was once my fear and never again but not until today.

She gave me everything and anything I want. She smiles and loves me more than anyone else, gave all her time, efforts and attention to me and nothing more. Her eyes are filled with glee when I am near. Before she bid goodbye, she would face me and kiss me on my cheek. Act as if I'm a sheepish coward man that here in our relationship she was only the one who balances it all, she was the only one who showed much more interest to continue our journey, which is true. Before, I don't care of how she will be feeling if I continue this way.

Fonna Marie, O gosh, what a wonderful name I thought, as I relinquish myself from the old memories I have reminisced.

She was kind, a perfect package that a man like me would want. She was beautiful inside and out. I can't comprehend what she likes in me. I'm afraid that she might be just being nice to me. I'm afraid.

Due to my cowardice I forgot that our relationship was sinking and that anytime from now is crucial----I might be the reason why. Why she wanted to end things, I don't want that to happen. I would have want to tell her everything. I would have want that, but she goes through my door crying loudly, screamed on top of her lungs that she have had enough, she wanted a break up. I don't know what to say, what to do. I just lost everything, my world and myself. I asked myself, would you just let her leave? I'm confident that she was just being emotional that her words were not what she really meant.

But I'm wrong, she did mean it. She find someone, she was loved and everything that I have not done was being done by this man, this man whose name is not me, why did you not stop her still? why are you so stupid? why? I pondered while crying. I don't know why, I just don't know anymore. I made her find somebody else, make herself think she's worthless, useless and nothing more.

Fonna Marie, what a nice name. She was once mine and never again.