The Heart of Wonderland

Chapter 17

The next day, Alison dragged herself down to the kitchen for breakfast with dark smudges of fatigue under her eyes. Aunt Caroline studied her as she slid a plate full of scrambled eggs in front of her niece.

"Didn't sleep well, huh, kiddo?" She ran a hand lovingly over Alison's long, blonde hair, still tangled from sleep.

Alison sighed and stabbed at her eggs. "I guess not." She didn't look up from her plate. When Mrs. Kim had visited yesterday, everything had seemed brighter, less impossible. But now her loneliness and the enormity of recent events seemed more insurmountable than ever.

"Well, I have an idea that will make you feel better," Caroline announced. She took a seat across from Alison and cradled a cup of coffee in her hands. "Why don't we go see the new exhibit at the Met? Going to the art gallery always cheers you up."

"I don't know..." Alison slumped in her chair.

"And after that, why don't you give Heather a call? She's been trying to reach you for days and I'm sure it would help you to have someone to talk to. Someone your own age, I mean."

Alison hung her head so her hair covered her face. "My phone was destroyed when..."

When the car crashed. She didn't need to say it out loud. Aunt Caroline knew what she meant. But even if her phone hadn't been destroyed, Alison still wouldn't have wanted to talk to Heather or anyone else from before.

That was how she thought of her life now, she realized. Before the accident and afterward. She didn't want to deal with the inevitable awkward pauses, the stupid gossip from kids at school, or the condolences that wouldn't change anything.

But Aunt Caroline was determined to cheer Alison up, whether she wanted to be cheered or not.

"I got you something," Caroline said with a big smile. She jumped up and opened a cupboard door to reveal a small gift bag. "I hid this in here because I knew it was the last you'd ever look."

Alison smiled weakly at her aunt's teasing. Before her parents had died, it had been a running family joke that Alison was completely hopeless in the kitchen.

"Don't you want to know what it is?" Caroline's smile slipped a little at Alison's lack of enthusiasm, so Alison made the effort to sit up straighter and smile.

"Of course I do." She faked a yawn. "I'm just tired, I guess." She reached for the bag. "What is it?"

Caroline relaxed and handed over the gift bag. "The young man at the store said it was the latest model." Alison pulled aside tissue paper to reveal a brand-new smart phone. "Do you like it?"

Alison opened the box and ran her fingers over the phone's brushed metal exterior. She forced herself to smile up at her aunt. "It's awesome. Thank you." She got up and put her arms around Caroline in a hug.

"I'm so glad you like it." Caroline grinned. "I know being cut off from social media is like losing an arm for a teenager. The guy at the store said you can use the phone for your art. I don't remember how, exactly—he lost me when he started talking about different apps—but it sounded good at the time."

For the first time in days, Alison felt a spark of interest in something other than Wonderland, and she realized she did miss the feel of charcoal in her hand and the smell of wet paint on a canvas. Though she'd been closest to her father, drawing and painting was something she'd always shared with her mother. It would be good to create again, to feel that connection.

And maybe getting in touch with Heather would be a good thing, too. Maybe it wouldn't be as awkward as she'd been imagining. Alison had never kept secrets from her best friend before, and though her words became a jumbled mess whenever she tried to talk about Wonderland to an outsider, maybe she could find some way to hint at what was happening.