depressed || cancelled (!!)

1

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you heard the alarm ring in your ears, but you felt dead. lifeless. you didn't see a reason to get up, to even bother to open your eyes. you just wanted to. sleep.

your parents aren't here, well, in other words, they're dead. currently, you are living with your guy best friends. they didn't know anything to do with what you were feeling, and you weren't planning to tell them.

eventually coming to a decision, you begin to open your eyes. only to stare at the ceiling. then that's when it happened. the negativity filled your brain and made you wonder,

"would they care if i died?"

your thoughts were soon interrupted by a small knock at your bedroom door,

"come in.." you say quietly, your voice still husky since, of course, you haven't had any water yet.

hoseok then peeped his head around the door a bit, his hair bobbing up and down as he did,
"morning! i made you your favourite breakfast."

you sigh, you didn't tend to eat breakfast in the morning, yet it seemed rude of you to not eat it. even if you only had a little bit.

hoseok brings in the food he made and places it on your lap, being cautious of where your legs were.

you look down at the food and examine it, it did look tasty, you can admit that.

"i've been wanting to talk to you about something.."
he says in a gentle voice, turning his head towards the wall.

your head quickly shoots up to look at him, he was never really a serious person so it was new to you that his tone had changed,

"what is it?" you question, tilting your head a little.

"well, you haven't been yourself lately," he turns his head back to me, "by yourself, i mean, you've just been rather distant. is something going on?"

you didn't want to tell him anything, but he generally looks concerned for your wellbeing.

'wow, i really have to be like that huh? he's one of my best friends and it seems as if i don't even trust him.'

"i guess i'll have to tell you-" you began yet you were interrupted by knocking on the door downstairs.

"i'll go get it." hoseok pats your back and smiles widely. he walks out of your room, closing the door slowly.

you look back down at the food that was beautifully set up for for you and shake your head, tears forming at the corner of your eye.
'why does everything go wrong? i can tell he just wants to be here for me but my brain is telling me otherwise...'

you place the food on the desk next to you and get out from under the covers, placing your feet onto the floor and putting them inside your slippers.

"y/n! jin and namjoon are back!"

you sigh loudly and look in the mirror that was set up on your wall, you stare at yourself for a few seconds and begin to cry.

'why was i born like this? i don't understand why God would say "yes, this one will do! go live!" this is so stupid.'

without a second thought, your fist was against the mirror, each piece shattering and your knuckles earning a few cuts.

quickly, the bedroom door flies open and 7 guys were standing there with worried faces.
"y/n? are you okay?" jungkook rushes to you and looks at your hands then averting his eyes back to you, "you're bleeding. why did you do that?"

the pain was unbareable, it wasn't the time to react to that though. you just wanted all the pain to end.

"y/n?" yoongi walks over and pats you gently, "tell us what happened."

your eyes widen slightly at yoongi being "soft". he normally acted cold, why was he caring now?

you sighed and closed your eyes, but when you reopen them, tears drip down, one by one. each falling onto jungkook's hair as he holds you.

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hi, yes, i'm 'rewriting' the chapters now and then because, well, it's a 3 year old book so these chapters are 3 years old 🤠