BBS Oneshots •

What Eyes Can't See - H20Vanoss

TRIGGER WARNING!

Mentions of suicide , self harm , homophobic slurs , etc.

3rd person pov.

Jonathan sighs as he watches his boyfriend's car, the dark haired male at the front, putting in his keys, he looks up, brown eyes meet blue and Evan smiles at his smaller boyfriend, waving at him and blowing a kiss, Evan pulls out the driveway, waving once more. Jon sighs, his eyes littering with tears, threatening to spill, as he can already hear the voices coming back, the memories, the words, he already missed Evan, the way the older male could making Jonathan feel so safe, protected from the outside world, and even protected from his own mind. Jonathan leaves the window, his sock covered feet dragging against the floor, Evan's oversized hoodie covering his small frame, reaching mid thigh, his boxers just peeking underneath. Jonathan grabs his big grey throw, turning on the TV and his ice cream, choosing a random romance film on Netfilx and using the throw to cover his bare legs as he tries to block out the shouts.

43 minutes into the film, Jon's ice cream is nearly empty, and his eyes are red and puffy from the film, his phone beeps, his attention off the movie he checks it, only to see he had been mentioned in a comment on Twitter. The comment which had popped up made his heart stop '@ kylesxftgw exactly! @ jonnyyboyy shouldn't be living!' With shaking hands, he unlocks his phone, leading his finger to twitter he finds countless hate comments, directed to him. He and Evan knew that coming out as a couple wouldn't please many of Evans's fanbase, but he had hoped at least the majority would be supportive, he was stupid for thiking that every singe one of Evan's twenty-two million subscribers would support Evan being bisexual, and being in a relationship with another man. There were so many of the same comments. '@ jonnyyboyy kill urself' '@ jonyyboyy ugly fag' '@ jonnyyboyy cocksucker' '@ jonnyyboyy cant believe u got vanoss gay, stupid faggots' they went on and on. There was so many of the same messages, so many telling him to kill himself.

Evan doesn't love you Jonathan.

Why would he love a scrawny little clingy boy?

Just face it Jonathan, everyone would be better without you.

Do it. Kill yourself.

I'm delirious, you can't escape me. 

When he was younger, Jonathan had been diagnosed with dissociative identity disorder, also known as multiple personality disorder. it's a mental disorder characterized by at least two distinct and relatively enduring personality states, in Jonathan's case, he could either be a sweet, shy and timid boy, too scared to speak up to someone, and incredibly clingy and loving, other times he was Delirious, a demon, people referred him as, he was characterised as restless, illusional, and incoherent of certain words and sentences. His second state made it hard remembering certain events, almost as if this Delirious had a different life to Jonathan, he remembered different things, he would often act out as Delirious, he was violent and he was difficult to control, other conditions associated with MPD included Jonathan experiencing post traumatic stress disorder, depression and anxiety.

From a young age, he was able to get medication to help the frequent change of personalities, now he rarely changed into Delirious, but he often heard Delirious in his head, taunting him, normally Evan was there for him, and if not Evan it would be a close friend from college, but today was Saturday, and Evan was called in to work because someone had taken a sick day off, Jonathan would have preferred changing into Delirious rather than hearing him, hew as very convincing.

Jonathan was aware of the fact Evan would have heard of the comments by now, considering they were all replying to a post made by Evan of the two. Jonathan felt numb as he slowly rose from the sofa. The comments were piling in, mixing with worried messages from his boyfriend, and his best friend Craig, he could also hear Delirious' laugh in the back of his mind, his whispered please for Jonathan to die, he couldn't take it. Tears gathered in his eyes as he stares at the picture on the mantelpiece, it was taken by a friend, Evan has his arms around Jonathan's waist, Jonathan was laughing, and Evan had a smirk on his face, as he kissed Jon's cheek. Jonathan could just tell the differences of them two boys.