Bea.

Curly Mops and Bunches of Flowers

I found myself a few hours later curled up in bed with my youngest, stroking his curly mop and watching the glowing stars across the deep blue walls of his bedroom. "Is Auntie Bea okay?" I heard a voice pipe up, and he fidgeted and rolled to face me, his tiny nose in line with mine. I shut my eyes, afraid of this moment. Callum worshipped her so much, and I needed a sensitive way to answer the question. "She's not very well." I spoke softly, smiling at those doe brown eyes of his. "Is it like a cold? Like the ones I get when it's chilly? Or if my hair's wet after swimming?" I chucked at him slightly, as tears brimmed. "No, not like that my darling, Auntie Bea has gotten hurt, and now her legs don't work like they used to. She has to use something called a wheelchair to get around-" I realised his face was also wet with tears as he burrowed it into my chest. "-do you know what that means sweetie?" I asked, and felt the small nod against me. "That doesn't mean you can't see her though, just not for a little while so she can get better baby". I soothed, his deep brown locks tickling my face. I heard a sniffle, as he lifted his head. "So...in a few days?" He sounded hopeful, and I don't blame him. "Maybe, now sleep baby" I smiled softly, lay there under his rocket quilt while he slept, his little chest rising and falling against mine. I'll be honest, I wish I could sleep too.

I stuck my head round Lily's door, the soft glow of her reading light radiating onto the hallway. "You should be asleep honey, it's late" I smiled, stepping into her room. She didn't look up, concentrating on the sprawl of geography books in front of her. "I just have to finish this Mum, I need to read up on it for school." She sighed, and I watched her eyes droop even more. I perched on the edge of her covers and picked up the books. "You can learn this at school in class" I chuckled to myself, placing the books in her bag. She leant into me, her chestnut hair smelling of strawberries. "How's Bea?" She asked sleepily, head on my chest. "Not good baby, not good" I could be honest with Lily now she's 14, and she knew a lot more about the world than any of us did. "Callum was asking about her earlier, and I think James was too, although I haven't fully learnt to understand him yet." She said, as we both chuckled. James was my youngest at 14 months, and hadn't quite got the hang of the word "Bea" so Lily taught him to just buzz like a bee instead. No, James is my baby at 14 months, with Callum 7 and three quarters and it is very important to him that I mention this. Lily is my shining star at 14, and all three of them make me proud every day.

I took Callum in on Thursday, and it was the best decision I could have made. I walked through those double doors, to the third bed on the left with my hand in his. Bea's face lit up when we turned the corner, as Callum attacked her. "Careful!" I chuckled as Callum scrambled up her bed and grabbed her waist, grinning ridiculously. I swerved round to look for Lily, and chucked some more as I found her making notes from the medical posters along the hall. I walk along, place my hands on her cheeks and join my nose with hers, eyes level. "I know you're interested, but don't go asking after her condition okay honey?"
"Of course not, that's insensitive Mum." She says, ambling off to Bea's bedside. That girl baffles me with her vocab sometimes. I walk back, sit next to her bed and place her hand in Bea's, watching the conversation. Callum rambles about school and Cubs and his new toys as she listens intently, drinking in every word, her eyes wide. Lily takes the other hand, sitting and simply watching Bea with a small smile on her face. We stayed for a few hours, the four of us playing cards and rambling nonsense about school and work and home. When we were kicked out of her room, Callum attacked her once more, wrapping his arms around her neck and squeezing tight. A small tear formed in Bea's eye, and Callum's face was damp as well. They broke away and Lily lingered, locking eyes with Bea and staring for a moment. They had a way of communicating, like how her and I used to as kids. I gave her a quick kiss on the cheek, promised I'd be back in a couple of days and headed out, just as nurses were bustling in.
We were quite solemn in the car home, although we seemed content with how she was.

I realise you haven't heard much about Harry. Harry is my husband, we've been married for 7 years. Bea actually introduced us. Well, kind of. Years ago, Bea was 15 and went off the rails. It was the last time this properly happened though. She got rather drunk, smoked some concoction of sorts, and broke a man's nose over a game of pool. Harry was the attending officer when I was called by the pub landlord to come collect her (lord knows how she got in at 15) and to take home a statement for her to complete when she wasn't off her head. He arrived at my house the next day to collect it and with a bunch of flowers, and asked me on our first date. We were married 5 years later, and I became pregnant with Lily. It was nonstop from there really.