Please Understand Me

Father

Dad, Papa, Daddy, DaDa, etc we use these to call our father. Daughters are princess of their father. And they fulfill all their wishes...

Like every girl my dad is my superhero, my ideal, my role model. We can do anything for them. But sometimes it hurts to know that the person you love the most, is most disappointed in you. It hurts to look into his eyes, as they are accusing me for crimes I did in my immature nature. It hurts to know that you have started to give them so much stress and tension that he is afraid to talk to you because of the reaction or over dramatic reaction you will give him.

I am ashamed to look at myself. I feel like a monster who daam selfish. I hate myself as I became the main cause of his but everyone's pain.

I feel like dying. I feel suffocated. And one day I feel I will truly fail him in my life.

I love reading stories online, but this has become the main key reason for my parents to feel disappointed, as while reading I stop doing any other work, I cannot concentrate on anything in like.

I started reading because it make me forget the suffering of this world. It gives me hope that even after being a disappointment their will be at least one person to call yours. With whom you don't need to fake smile and can be yourselves because in real on one is their to even treat you human.

It now I have created many crimes. I have fought with my parents on silly reasons, myself given them reason if not to hate me but feel ashamed of me. Being embarrassed yo call be their daughter.

Maybe one day, I hope one day I could do something for them so that they can be proud of me, even if it means for a moment.

I am very fat. Have big specks. An immature, selfish, arrogant, joker girl who hopes to become someone one day. I broke my father's dream of being an ideal daughter. No one trust me.

I hope one day my father will hug me and say ' I am proud of you'.