Sequel • Worth Fighting For
It is commonly known and spoken that time heals all wounds.
But what they don't tell you is that those wounds remain, leaving behind a plastic film of torment and affliction with those subconscious memories nudging you l...
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"—she loves reading Alice in wonderland, I would read it to her after a nightmare, and it's just become her favourite ever since." I took another deep breath. "She has your eyes, I guess. I always found myself pretending that she didn't, but it's so obvious—"
I had now spent what seemed to feel like a considerable amount of time describing the various fragments of Riley James, attempting to recall everything I could to the man in front of me in an account that he deserved to hear.
It was more difficult than I could imagine, explaining my daughter to a person that should have known just as much about her as I did. Yet time seemed to have lessened the ability, giving me the sudden chance to tell him about her instead. My reasons for not telling him felt justified up until seeing his reaction, I saw him as a person now, with thoughts and feelings. And also with the title of father without even realising it.
"Does she ever—I mean, does she ask about having a dad?" Josh scratched the back of his neck again, a mechanism he reached for when nervous.
Our distance had grown somewhat comfortable, occupying the previous thickness in the air with words we would try to use in order to fill the silence. In contrast to his previous pacing, he was now sat down on the couch beside me, attempting to ask questions he would most likely feel guilt without.
"She's asked about having a father a few times before. I always tried to pretend that you were out there somewhere, but that you just were just too busy," a hesitant nod moved his features when I turned to look up at him again, "I couldn't make up excuses about your life when I didn't know you anymore. I think I always thought it was better hiding Riley from the truth rather than finding it out for myself."
"I know this is going to be hard to hear Josh," I continued, "but this doesn't change anything still. Riley is so young and introducing you so suddenly into her life would most likely just confuse her—"
"We can work it out," Josh was hopeful as he spoke, "of course, I would love to meet her, but I understand why we need to wait."
"I'll start talking to her about it to ease her into the idea, but thank you."
I felt the need to apologise to him again, which seemed contrasting already due to our current predicament and the way in which he left me all those years ago. But I knew that he would shoot down the apology before I was even able to start. He didn't want to hear apologies for something that was plenty justified at the time.
"I need to go out and speak with Nathan about some work before I leave," I interrupted the brief silence between us, "but I'm glad we had this conversation."
His voice seemed hopeful yet his eyes were a contrasting emotion. He seemed to be taking me in, as if it could be the last he would see of me. He was looking at me in the same way he did when he walked out four years ago. Like the possibility of an us was gone again.
