Soulbound (Final Space. Jackspeed fic)

Ch 9: The Meaning of a Name

Note: I have to make Gary cry now. Sorry.

***

They were just sitting down for an after school snack at the kitchen table when Gary suddenly rushed to his bag to pull out a piece of paper and a pencil crayon. "My teacher taught us how to write our name today. Here's mine,"the child said, sitting back down at the table. He scribbled his name in big letters with the blue pencil crayon.

G A R Y   G O O D S P E E D

"Very good, Gary," Jaxx said, leaning sideways to look at the paper.

"How do I write my name in your language, Jack?" the boy suddenly asked, glancing over at him.

Jaxx froze, staring back into the child's big blue eyes. Honestly, those eyes should be illegal. "I... well..." There really wasn't any good reason to refuse him. Not without looking like a jerk. And he really had no hope of resisting those puppy dog eyes.

"Here," the Greytrexian sighed, carefully translating Gary's name into the proper symbols.

"So pretty," the boy cooed, smiling happily.

"Greytrexian language uses symbols, rather than letters. It's a lot like Japanese and Chinese. If you were to read your name literally in Greytrexian, it would be 'Sun child of the stars.'"

"How do you write daddy's name?" Gary insisted, kneeling on his chair to get a better look.

Jaxx sighed, but wrote out the symbols. "His name, in Greytrexian, translates to 'Man of the stars.'"

"What about your name?" the boy asked, tilting his head at him curiously.

"My name..." Jaxx bit his lip nervously, his heartbeat becoming a booming drum in his chest. "My name..."

"Yeah, what does your name look like, Jack?"

The little Greytrexian shrieked at the unexpected voice that came from directly behind him. His hand clutched at his heart, even as he willed the fluttering organ within his chest to calm down.

"Daddy!" Gary shouted, smiling at his father happily.

"Hey, sport! Work let me leave early today. What are you two up to?" the captain asked, raising an eyebrow at his roommate's startled look.

"Writing Greytrexian names," the boy informed him, pointing to the paper on the table.

"That's great, kiddo. So these are Greytrexian..." John trailed off, lifting the paper up to his face to get a better look at the VERY familiar symbols. "Hey, sport. You mind giving me and Jack some time alone?" The blonde boy nodded cheerfully, and went to play outside in the backyard.

John turned his attention to his friend and roommate, noting that the little alien was deliberately avoiding his gaze. With a sigh, he took a seat across the table, setting the paper down between them. "All right, spill. You KNOW what my soulmark says, don't you." It was not a question.

Jaxx nodded, his eyes downcast and his mouth clamped shut. He knows, he knows! This a bad!

"Why won't you tell me, then?" John asked, unable to keep the hurt out of his voice.

"I can't, John," Jaxx finally said. His eyes rose to meet his soulmate's, only to find betrayal and distrust in the man's gaze. "Y-you should just forget about your soulmate, and find a nice human woman to marry and have kids with."

John stood up, his dark eyes piercing. "I thought we were friends, but you've been lying to me this entire time."

"John... I'm sorry. I really CAN'T tell you," Jaxx whispered, hoping desperately that that would be the end of the conversation. It was not.

The human's hands clenched at his sides as anger took over the rational side of his brain. "I think it might be best if you start looking for your own place," the captain gritted out, turning his back on the man he once called his friend.

Jaxx could feel tears welling up his eyes, but he only nodded in agreement. "I... I think I'm going to spend the next few days at a hotel," he decided. The taller man wouldn't even look at him.

"Good idea," John snapped, storming out of the room.

"What am I going to do now?" Jaxx wondered, cradling his head in his hands, his voice barely a whisper. Tears flowed down his cheeks, dripping onto the tabletop.

***

The next few weeks flew by as Jaxx spent as much time as he could AWAY from the house, searching for a place to call his own. He finally found an apartment on the other end of the city, but it just didn't FEEL like home. Still, he signed the lease, and arranged for a moving company to pick up his things.

"Are you moving out? I don't want you to go," Gary said, clinging to Jack's arm as he waited for the taxi to arrive. It was later than he'd planned to leave, and the sun was beginning to set on the horizon. Gary should be getting ready for bed right about now.

Jaxx shook his head and knelt down. "It'll be okay, Gary. No matter what happens, I'll always love you." The boy let out a sob and flung his arms around Jaxx's shoulders. Jaxx found himself embracing the little human with all the fierceness of a devoted parent.

"I need you to be a big boy now, okay. Take care of your dad for me," the Greytrexian said, standing back up and ruffling the child's hair.

"I... No, I won't. Dad is horrible! He's the one who's making you leave. I hate him!" Gary suddenly shouted, stamping his foot as tears ran down his face.

Jaxx felt a surge of guilt. HE caused this. If he had just told John the truth all those years ago, they could have dealt with the uncomfortable situation, and moved on with their individual lives. He never would have moved in, or been a part of Gary's life, but that would have probably been for the best. At least then the little boy wouldn't be in so much pain.

"Gary, please don't say that. Joh... Your father loves you. Here, I'll give you my number. If you ever need anything, just call. I don't... I don't know if your dad will let us visit, but you'll always have a place in my heart," Jaxx whispered, leaning down to hug the boy one last time. "Zelovvah, Gary."

"I love you, too, Jack. Don't go..." Gary pleaded, even as Jaxx got into the taxicab. The door closed, and the driver began to pull away. The Greytrexian buried his head in his hands to avoid having to see the little boy's tears. This was for the best, he told himself. Maybe if he kept repeating it, he'd actually start to believe it.

***

John stood at the window, his arms folded across his chest. He should be happy right now. His friend had lied to him all these years! He deserved this. But a deep emptiness was creeping into his heart, leaving him uncertain what the future would hold from that point on.

"What did you say to make Jack so sad?" Gary demanded, after slamming the door, and placing himself firmly in front of his father.

"Jack isn't sad," John tried to argue, but it felt half-hearted, at best.

"He was sad. Very sad. And YOU made him sad. And now he's going to leave, and I won't have him here anymore. And I love him, and I don't want him to leave!"

John reached out to comfort his crying child, but the boy only glared at him, and ran up to his room. Why did he feel that HE was the one to blame for all of this? Maybe he was being too hard on Jack. Perhaps the Greytrexian had a good reason for keeping something as important as the identity of his soulmate from him. For all he knew, his now obviously Greytrexian soulmate could be an evil warlord bent on universal destruction.

It was all too much to deal with. Rubbing his head, the captain trekked up the stairs to his own room. A good night's rest would help him figure out what to do.