Fight or Flight

Chapter 7: You again?!

*******It has come to my attetion that some people could not read my 5th chapter. For some reason it wouldn't show up. If you are one of these people please comment because I need to know if it is working. JUST CHECK YOU HAVE READ CHAPTER 5 NOT JUST 4 to 6 and if you haven't read chapter 5 please do or chapter six won't make much sense...thank you.*****                             

 

*Read above very important*

I sprint to embrace him, as I throw my arms wide tears stain my face. I see the confusion in his eyes as I rush towards him, until he eyes the blood drenching the floor in a blotchy mess. Confusion morphes into sorrow and fear. I leap into his arms and cry into his shoulders, explanations of how much I miss him try to sputter out through wet lips. But they’re Too busy crying out incoherent sobs into the soft cotton. He reciprocates my embrace and holds me tight. Even though the memory of what just happened still lingers in my mind, I can only concentrate on how much I miss this, his smell, his arms.

“Neal” I manage to whisper out, even though it is impeded by spit.

“Kim! Are you okay?! W What happened?” he stuttered sympathetically.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

I break away from the hug, not knowing what to say. I contemplate on telling Neal about Ray and everything he has done… What he was going to do. I give him a brief statement instead of going in depth.

“He hit me. He tried to kill me!” Later I would look at this sentence in retrospect and realise I could have been clearer.

Neal stepped towards me again but I only retreated further. I have dreamed of this moment countless times after he left me; the time he would come back . But now i’m not so sure. Maybe under different circumstances I would do more than accept his return, I would savor it and thank the lords for giving me this second chance at happiness. A week ago that is what I would have expected from myself in such an occurrence, now my mind only wavered. My initial response was to run to him and pour my soul out, which I did. Now I am not sure if I made the right decision. So I back up, trying to pry myself away from this situation. But I know it is not the simple, and is actually quite complicated.   

 

~*~*~*~*~*~

 

“Kim” he whispered soothingly, while placing his hand on my shoulder. I couldn’t risk drowning into his gorgeous hazel eyes so instead I stare and the floor, wiping salty cheeks with my sleeve.

“I-I can’t” I manage though my tightly gritted teeth, I bit down on my tongue urging myself not to cry. I see Neal notice my wounds, a thin trickle of blood from my neck probably the most noticeable of them. But not nearly the most painful. My stomach felt wrecked with incomprehensible pain swelling in between each rib. He runs off, in the corner of my eye I see him headed for the kitchen, grabbing a large piece of paper towel once inside. Then pours a light stream of water on it from the sink. Upon his return he places the paper towel on my neck gently patting away the blood.

“How did this happen?” beyond the forced authoritative tone I hear only worry.          

 

'~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

I told my story to him, not leaving out a single detail as I planned on earlier. From the first time I spoke to Ray inside the bus to my latest encounter. Neal only sat there stoically. If it were anyone else I would think they just didn’t care, but there was something wrong with his expression. I know Neal and I can read him like a children's book. Even though my mind is foggy and my senses are down I can still feel his pain through the mask he is trying to portray.

“Neal?” I finally ask after his long silence. “Why are you here? I mean how?”

There is a pause before he answers. “I have been thinking about visiting  you for a long time...To see how you are doing” he quickly sticks in. I feel a twinge of pain in my heart as he said those last words. He didn’t come back because he still loves me. “Then Rachel called me up and sounded incredibly worried. She said you had been having problems and maybe seeing me might help you. At first I was weary on coming over, but after leaving the way did I owe it to you. To help you through whatever” I have such immense physical pain you might think it would balance out the emotional one. It only feeds the flames of misery.

“So you didnt really care” I want to say. But he continued.

“So I came and them saw you like this!” he motioned to my wounds.

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

I told him I needed a minute, what I really meant was I needed him gone. I stepped out of the room, leaving behind a worried and confused Neal. After locking my bedroom door I throw myself to the bed. he didn’t mean to hurt me with his words I know that for a fact. Even so he did. He probably thought I wouldn’t take in the full meaning behind his words: I only came because I was obligated to for moral reasons. I know it’s not an awful thing to say but I would have much rather his reasons being something along the lines of: I care about you. I want you to be safe. I still love you. Any of those three would have easily suffice. Instead he basically told me he had to. Weather god made him his own mother or even himself it makes no difference, he was forced.

I sit on my bed fragilely, biting my lip to stop the tears. I Pull up my laptop and write:

 

June 15: assault and battery.

 

I erase the ellipsis that was previously there. I look on the bright side of my attack. This harmful act certainly will justify both an arrest warrant and a ppo (personal protective order.) I can lock him behind bars, providing evidence he is a dangerous person. I feel relieved to soon be finally rid of Ray Davis. Soon after this excitement I feel dizzy. Not only foggy in shock, but actually dizzy like the world is a mary-go-round constantly spinning around me. I try to brush off the feeling and stand up. Then I notice the blood seeping heavily through my shirt. “A dormant wound must have come open when I jumped to the bed” I thought somewhat out loud. I am not a doctor and therefore have very little knowledge of the medical profession but I think I might be bleeding out.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Suddenly I hear a knock at the door. I try to speak knowing it’s Neal but words don’t come out.

“I’m sorry, I think I might have hurt your feeling earlier and I want to try to do something nice for you. Anything.”

“NEAL” I attempt to cry out effectively.

“I just need to know you're okay kim. I know what you must think but I sincerely care about you.” He pauses and I stand there dumbly.

“Look I’m coming in” the door cracks open.

I whispered so quietly I’m not sure if I even say it “Call 911”

My knees hit the floor.