I look at the dark sky counting the little bit of stars I can see, wondering if one day they will shape a man to replace the one that broke my family. Maybe one day he will come out the sky before my eyes and make it all right, I know that is not how any of that works in real life and I also know that a man does not validate us as females. My mom is the best mom ever and did her very best to raise Raven, Nicolas, and I, she gave us all she had as a mom, but you can tell she isn't satisfied and thinks that she could have done better, I've always felt like she longed for help, and companionship but who can blame her we all want to be loved. She was married when she had us we all have the same dad. Raven was supposed to be the 'savior' of the marriage. She was my idea really, I pitched the idea to the family, in a baby way 'I want a sister', my mom and dad felt like if it were to happen it would be now or never because they had already past their maximum of a year break. Nicolas and I are twins and are two years older than Raven. They separated around three months after her birth.
"Auntie Razia, Ms. Lady wants you."
"Tell her I have no interest in dealing with petty arguments over the remote again." I know my nephew won't be able to say all of that he barely got the first his previous statement out, but I love seeing him struggle to say a mouth full. I do follow the instruction of my mother and go in the house to see what is needed of me.
"Mom, Elisha told me you need me I don't see you anywhere though." I didn't really look because normally she is right in the kitchen.
"Girl I know you didn't look for me, with your lazy butt." I know she is behind me because I hear her long nails tracing the counter.
"Elisha told me you were in the kitchen so I just assumed you went to the bathroom but wante..."
"Don't feed me those lies it is not even necessary, I just wanted to remind you to clean my house for the new student that is coming in only two days."
"I am going to do it..."
"You have run out of chances and days with me I don't want anymore of your wooden nickels, just get my house clean by the time I get back tomorrow night. Please don't make it turn ugly please girl."
"Mom I have school tomorrow and I have to walk because Raven crashed my car remember and I have to pick..."
"I guess that means someone has some cleaning to do tonight, I love you good night dear tell your brother to help you whenever he gets back from Football conditioning. Raven won't be back until a little after I return supposed o be at least."
"Mommy you can't let her keep leaving her responsibilities at home for someone else to have to deal with, don't get me wrong I love Elisha but that is not my child but I raise him more than anyone else in this...."
"Stop being dramatic she is only sixteen she needs to live a little."
''I was always told if I lived a little than no one would be here but whatever, I'm going to stop complaining before you cut me off again because that would be aggravating for sure."
"I love you Z." and with that she gave me a kiss and was on her way.
"Well Elisha I guess it is just you and I"
"Auntie can we please listen to my favorite song please!!" At three years old his favorite song is Posted To Be In Love by Kevin Gates, and I hate the fact that he is listening to curse words at such an age.
"You know I do not approve of such songs."
"PLEASEEE!!!!!!!!" I can't help but comply with him he is so cute with his baby face and big bug eyes.
"Fine, with one condition only" he just stands there with a confused expression on his face. "you have to help me clean the house for our new guest"
"Okay Auntie" and with that we go on a downward spiral of Kevin Gates.
"Rainbow come let me in" I hear Nick knocking at the door like the cops.
"I should let you're A Z Z stay outside" I hate when he calls me Rainbow and he only does it when he has company, he likes for me to be emotionally unavailable, its been like that forever but got worse when we found out Raven was pregnant, its worked though because I have never had sex, a first kiss, let a lone a boyfriend. I go and open the door and it is Nick and his fine football brother James.
"Ms. Lady is not home and we cleaning he can't come in Ick"(ick is how Elisha says Nicks name)
"Ms. Lady knows he is coming he is going to try to make the new boy feel welcome." I move aside to let them inside.
"He won't be here until Saturday, and the guest room cant be touched, my room is in the middle of being the home of the science project, where he going to sleep?"
"I in the living room and you are just going to have to deal with sleeping in Ray's room with Li"
"No I will not"
"Okay suit yourself sleep in the same room as James then."
"No, no, no I will not he will sleep in Raven's room."
"Ms.Lady said no more boys in Mommies room unless its me!"
