Imagining Love

My story (part one)

     I've pondered romance long before experiencing even remote attraction. I've learned from the countless movies, T.V. shows, and books that almost always have a relationship in them (and nowadays, if they don't already, just create a ship). And truth be told, I didn't always cringe at the kiss scenes! That was only when it felt forced or actually looked gross. I know you can name an ugly screen kiss, we've all seen at least one.

     But despite the yucky kiss scenes, young me quite liked many of the relationships on screen! I learned how to spot one forming, breaking, and healing. I shook my head at the dumb guy who was too stupid to realize the girl's feelings. I learned all the cliches, and while I never classified myself as a fan of the romance genre, I now see that I never truly minded when my parents picked a movie with a couple in it! I laughed at the playful bickering!

     But most importantly, I absorbed the emotions of the characters. I even like to brag that I own a shirt that says, "I am too emotionally attached to fictional characters". And it's true! I'm empathic in many ways. More through words than faces, but...

     Over years, I explored romance in a lot of different ways. As I got a bit older and shifted away from boob-tube to YouTube, and from T.V. to my laptop, I gained access to the internet. And with access to the internet comes access to knowledge of, well, lots of stuff! Some of which I maybe shouldn't have learned so soon, but nevertheless I did.

     One thing I learned of was of homosexuality. Now, I can't remember how, when, or where I learned of it, but it might have been from my parents. All I know is I was very accepting. Possibly sometimes too accepting if you fellow fujoshi know what I mean! And from gay I learned lesbian, and from there bisexual, then trans, and all the works and... Hey! Here we have pansexual! I

     Once again I don't remember the specifics of how I learned what pansexuality is. My memory is notoriously bad! I do, however, have one important thing to share: Years ago, before I had felt any sort of attraction to anyone, not even an idol crush, I thought to myself, "I hope I grow up to be pansexual!"

     Now now, let me explain! I knew at that time how ridiculous that was. I knew that you couldn't choose your sexuality. And I had even agreed that, although pansexuality seems the most advantageous as it creates the most options, I would probably end up being straight like the assumed majority. Keep in mind that I did not feel any attraction, romantic or sexual, at all at that time! I was too young. My first crush would happen I believe years from then (or maybe in just a few months, I honestly have no clue).

          We all know love before feeling it,
          but knowledge doesn't compare to experience.
          Those feelings are based off of presumptions,
          which are based off of tales told and seen.

<•>•<•> To be continued <•>•<•>