Scars

6

The worst part of a break down is the aftermath.

When you have no tears left to cry and just feel nothing.

When you can get punched and still feel nothing.

Marcus sees it.

The stars that have been sucked from her eyes and the dullness of her fake smile. It's like she's robotic. No real emotion. Just a programming of wires telling her what facial expressions to make and when.

If there's anything Marcus has learned about Brooke, it's that the numb feeling lasts for a while. He has to be patient and above all, just be with her.

That's why he plays the role of friend and comes to her house after school. She had decided to take the bus home. Something completely unusual for her. Brooke hates the bus and Marcus knows it. That's why he takes her home from school every afternoon.

Knocking, he looks down at his empty hands and sighs. He should have brought flowers. As the door opens, he plasters a smile on his face, though it immediately falls when he sees Brooke. Her eyes are red, the tip of her precious little nose is red, her cheeks are red. It's seems as though she's done feeling numb and is just sad.

Brooke is sad. What's new?

"Marcus"? Saying nothing, he takes two steps forward and hugs her. He swears he can practically feel the cloud of depression looming over her head. "Do you want to talk about it"? Brooke only shakes her head, a shaky breath passing through her lips. "Do you want to leave"? She shakes her head again and Marcus immediately gets it. "You want me to stay with you"? At her nod, he walks inside and walks with her up to her room.

Usually he would look around and judge, but he couldn't care less about what her room looks like. He's too busy looking at her. As they lie side by side, Marcus' attention is immediately on her, but hers is anywhere but Marcus. She can't believe herself. She's just crying into his shoulder and unloading all her issues on him. She feels selfish. It's always all about her and her problems. She's Brooke, The Problematic.

Really it's like he can see every little gear in her head turning. So he pulls her closer and kisses her head ever so gently. "It's okay Princess. I'm here and you're safe". He rubs up her side, but stops when she lets out a squeal of pain. Without even asking, he rolls up her hoodie and can't help but to feel angry. "What happened"? "Marcus I-I-". "What happened"? She can hear the anger in his voice and she wants to tell him the truth, but she can't. She just can't. "I ran into a door". Marcus deadpans and Brooke knows he's caught her in a lie. "Really? You ran into a door rib cage first"? "I-I...". Shaking his head, Marcus stands from the mattress and begins to pace.

"Why can't you just tell me the truth"? Mimicking Marcus' actions, Brooke stands and places her hands on his shoulders. "I want to. I swear I do. But I can't". "And why not"?! Brooke flinches back at his tone, her eyes burning with unshed tears. "Marcus I-I... I can't. I will soon. Just not right now". He grabs her shoulders and lowers his head, trying his hardest not to yell at her. "How soon is soon? Because I can't stand around like a dumbass while someone hurts you". "Marcus just trust me. Please". "How can I trust you when you can't even trust me"? Looking up at him, Brooke shakes her head and finally, she can't contain her tears. "You have no idea what's going on in my head. What I have to deal with every single day. You don't know the half of it. And if I could tell you without consequence, I would. I wouldn't hesitate".

Wiping away her tears, Marcus lets out a long breath before bringing her into a hug. "I'm sorry for yelling at you. I didn't mean to make you cry. I just want you to be okay". Shaking her head against his chest, Broke mumbles into his shirt words with so much certainty that it makes his heart sink. "I'll never be okay Marcus".