The Popular Girls

Marks of the Forest

            Leah Sanders has an undying ritual. To her, running through the forest is in its form a cleansing. She usually aims to forget and if anything, the quietness of the forest does exactly that. It surrounds you completely and in some ways, you never feel alone. Running each day through the forest has become a sacred practice. The goal is to forget. And also to eliminate the alcohol she drank like water yesterday night. 

           The first time Leah realized she had a problem was when she woke up in an abandoned scrapyard. She had found herself there, the morning after Hailey's sixteenth birthday. Waking up there wasn't what terrified her. It was the fact that she wasn't alone. David Kushner had passed out a couple of meters to her left but then woken up earlier and taken off by himself. Leah was sure that he had seen her unconscious and yet did nothing to help her, leaving her behind with a group of homeless guys living behind the abandoned cars. 

           She was not willing to forgive him anytime soon. As for her, she had promised not to drink after that event. And made the same promise after Seth Ford's graduation party. And then again after Emily Wheeler's quinceanera and Mary Coldwell's housewarming party. It took her a total of sixteen events to realize that she was breaking every promise she had made. And most important, kept getting herself in trouble, every single time. 

        However, tonight's party was going to be different. She had made Anne Clifford promise her that she would stop her from drinking more than two beers and she would drive her safely home before midnight. If only promises were easy to keep. 

       Her father had already suffered enough. Her DUI almost wrecked the campaign he worked so hard to build alongside his new wife, Lionne. Jerry Sanders was a capable man. He spoke with the sheriff and kept the whole thing under wraps. Even Lionne visited the sheriff on Leah's behalf and he agreed to not mention it. After that, Leah told him it was the last time and it would not happen again. He had threatened to send her to rehab. An ugly fight broke out that night. Leah doesn't like to remember it. Alcohol eases the mind and erases bad memories. One of its many advantages. 

      Leah's breath became heavier when she reached her mark - a heart carved on one of the logs to "mark" where she was and how she could get out easily. Where the mark stood, she would have to head North, until her next mark (a butterfly) and then to the right in order to find the way out of the forest. Her palm grazed the mark gently as she bend in an effort to catch her breath. She felt her pulse slowing down but her heart was still fighting to escape from her chest. The wheezing had stopped. A smile flashed across her face. A few more runs and she would get back in shape. Be complete. Be perfect. 

       A branch snapped, a couple of meters from her. Frightened, she swang her whole body towards that direction, slowing her breath and searching frantically the place for anyone that may have followed her here. Leah had heard once that most crimes happen either early in the morning or late at night. Her body shuddered at the possibility of being part of those statistics. Just another number that will eventually be forgotten. 

      The silence returned, this time carrying the chirping of birds with it. A cold breeze shook the trees above her, allowing a couple of green leaves to fall gracefully all around her. The ground was moist, leaving her sneakers to sink even further on the ground, like quicksand. At least, if anything were to happen, she would leave some type of evidence behind. Her palms wiped the cold sweat from her forehead while she stretched out her legs before deciding that it was time to go. 

     The way back seemed longer somehow. The more Leah's thoughts raced, the more her heart did and her breath gave out at times. In times like these, she wished for a drink so desperately. It was her comfort, her safe place. She had felt her heart race when she was around drinks or when others were drinking in front of her. And every time she would tell herself not to, another voice pointed out that she was being left out and so, she had to drink. That first sip was the best. And by the 50th, the stress had disappeared, the weight on her back seemed a little lighter and the world appeared so bright and colorful - full of possibilities if you played your cards right. That's something that her dad quoted almost every day. She was sure he had used it for his campaign as well. 

       Leah couldn't remember clearly. That was one of the downsides. Her memory had become a cloudy mist, merging past and present, alienating her from the now. Also, the headaches were horrendous and her stomach was killing her every single day. The only way to ease this pain was either to stay sober for a couple of days or drink again the following morning. Most of the time, she went ahead with the first choice. But other times, it wasn't so easy.