Lusting For The Eotan Siren ~ A Shingeki No Kyojin Fanfiction

Six: Papers

I groan, groggily sitting up, it still hurts to get up, I really did strain my back when I hit the clock tower in Trost. Since then the 104th trainee squad joined up. A new plaything for Hanji arrived too; a kid who can turn into a titan!

There's meant to be a mission. Erwin told me to stay alert because he may call for me. He said he would use a yellow flare to call for my assistence despite me being on bed rest.

I get up and dress in my casual clothes, I then get Levi his coffee and knock on his door.

"Come in Sienna." I open the door and put his coffee on the coaster, handle facing the window; just as he likes.

"Morning Levi." I smile.

"How's your back?" he asks. I shrug.

"Better. I have my moments." I reply, still smiling. It seems that only when I'm talking to the lance corporal that I can forget the weight on my shoulders; the struggle to be who humanity needs me to be; a mute.

"You do." he smiles.

"Gomene Heichou." sometimes I slip into my old ways of calling Levi 'Heichou'. He looks away from me now.

"Today is the day of the 57th expedition beyond the wall. You're not coming so don't bother asking. Please don't do anything reckless." he looks sincere. I don't blame him; my last insubordinate act caused me to nearly get eaten by a titan.

"Of course not. You needn't worry about me." I assure. "How much damage can I do with a sore back anyway?" I joke.

"Tch. You seem to do just fine with or wthout injury." Levi replies.

"Thanks." I smile sarcastically at his comment.

Levi drinks his coffee however when he stands I unconciously grab his arm.

"Sienna?" he asks.

"You too; please Levi, please don't act recklessly either, you're my only friend and I don't want to be in the dark anymore." my cheeks stain red at how idiotic I sound; who am I to boss the corporal about?

"Good luck; I'll be okay." he says in sign. I blush violently.

"Good luck?" I muse.

"You'll be organising my paperwork today." he puts his hand on my shoulder.

"Levi!" I call as he tries to leave again. "Good luck; I'll be okay." I repeat in sign. He smiles.

~(^v^)~ Time Skip ~(^v^)~

It's been hours and Levi's paperwork is almost completely organised now. I smile to myself as I fumble through a small stack of papers that I found in the compartment in his desk chair. I often take them out so I can clean the compartment, aware of their existence I begin to organise them. Upon seeing my name I read the small passage on the yellowest sheet of paper, it's curling like butter does with wear and age.

Shiganshina and Wall Maria fell. Everybody blames her; Sienna Rowen, the last Rowen girl. I don't. Why would she bring this upon humanity; she's not that sort of person. She's fallen apart since I saved her from death. She's faked smiles and feigned positivity. I hope she gets better soon, this her just isn't right.

I hiccup. That's his writing! This was hidden! His words about me were hidden! I look on the next page. Maybe this is a general assessment of events.

She's still broken and damaged, she looks at her photos of her family all of the time, a constant strain on her; intensifying her bloodlust. She's trying to show people that she's feeling better but she's not. I know she's not. Sienna is hurt and whenever Wall Maria is mentioned it's like rubbing salt in her wounds. She blames herself; thinks she's a siren! Tch, a siren! Who would have thought! An eotan siren!

I grimace at Levi's mockery of my thoughts however my face softens at the fact that he was worrying about me. Are all of these papers about me?

I cannot believe it! She is a siren! Sienna Rowen is an eotan siren! Hanji's report concludes it! She drew them in from talking in her sleep! Wow... Is that why she blames herself? Feels the weight of everybody who has died, is dying and will die in the name of Wall Maria on her shoulders? Oh Sienna; you are not the one to blame.

My eyes widen. He noticed everything! Levi was always intuitive but he really did know what was going on inside my head! He played his reverse phycology game to get my thoughts of things! And from that he came up with this! Oh Levi...

I turn the page.

She draws them in with a song. Thank god life isn't a musical or I would have a serious problem, most of the lyrics I know but she translated the German bit for me too. You learn something new every day. She seemed really grateful; grateful that I wasn't blaming her. It's like she doesn't realise how important she is. I hope she gets better soon.

My cheeks heat up; what is this, his diary? Should I really be reading this? Yes. Hell yes!

Well that was weird. My subconcious is plagued with thoughts of her; I cannot even escape to sleep without thinking about her. I had a filthy dream lasy night that I would rather forget but can't. Her safety is my priority. One day she'll get better.

My jaw drops.

"Heichou." I gasp, disturbed yet intrigued.

I continue through the pile; he speaks of his feelings, how he's happy to see I'm recovering and finding my voice again. He channels the feelings he has to the paper. He wrote that this is all because he doesn't want to pressure me. Was I meant to see this? His attitudes vary from fondness to love to lust, he's writing inserts frequently. His last one spoke of how plagued he was when I hit the clock tower and blacked out yet he had to continue with the slaughter. He said as he killed he could only think of me. Levi wrote that when I was out he was afraid I would never wake up again; thay he would never meet my mismatched gaze again. He said in his last inset; dated this morning that doesn't want to leave me when I'm recovering and he's grateful for both my mental and physical recoveries. He said on paper this morning that he loved me.

BANG!

I glance outside, another black smoke round? This can't be good!

I bolt into my quaters and change into my uniform, I fasten extra gas to the escond belt on my waist since my horse passed away I'm going to have to 3DMG my way to Erwin if danger occurs.

I put the papers back in their hiding place and grab my blades. I have a strong feeling that I should go.