✨Gaydar (SF9)✨

Self-Questioning (Part 1)

Chani's POV:

I'm falling. Down, down, down. I'm afraid of hitting the bottom. I know that in dreams if you die you die in real life. I look around. The tunnel is blood red and if I look at the bottom, it's baby pink.

I'm almost to the ground. When will I hit? Can it hurry up already?

I look down. 7 feet. 6 feet. 5 feet. Someone catches me. I gasp. Before I can see who it is, his lips are on mine and he's kissing me. At first I'm shocked, but then I start kissing back gently. He pulls back. I'm about to open my eyes when... I wake up.

"Get up, get up, get up!" Inseong is shouting at me, "You have an exam in 30 minutes!"

I gasp and jump out of bed, throwing on jeans and a t-shirt. I run downstairs to find Jaeyoon waiting by the door. "Let's go." He says to me.

I grab my bag and we rush out to his car. I jump in and Jaeyoon takes off down the street.

I study him. He looks tired, and every loud noise causes him to cringe. I already know that he went out last night. We got back from the interview and an hour later he disappeared. Zuho stayed up again to wait for him, and tried to see what was wrong again, to no avail. He only succeeded in pissing him off.

I sigh and turn to stare out the window. Wondering about my dream.

I kissed a guy. A man, and someone familiar at that.

"J-Jaeyoon?" I say softly.

He looks over, concern clear on his features.

"Yeah?"

"I had a dream that I kissed a guy... Does that mean that I'm- I'm...."

"Gay?" He takes a deep breath. "It could mean that you're gay. But don't worry about it. It's completely okay to be gay." He says honestly.

"O-Okay... Thanks Jaeyoon." I step out of the car and go to write my History exam.

-

Taeyang's POV: 

I'm thinking about Jaeyoon and wondering, is it my fault that he's acting like this? I haven't really paid attention to him lately. 

"Taeyang, what time is it?" Youngbin asks me.

"1:00. Why?"

"Jaeyoon dropped Chani off at 10:30, and he's not back yet."

Right at this second, Jaeyoon walks in, Chani right behind him.

We all stare. He looks up and blushes. "What?"

"You actually bothered to come back." Youngbin says.

"Well yeah, I wasn't going to leave Chani there. He forgot his phone this morning, so I waited for him."

We're all still staring. "So, are you back for good now? Or are you gonna leave again?" Inseong asks softly.

Jaeyoon goes even redder. "Um, maybe... I don't really know to tell you the truth." He sighs, "I'm gonna go take a nap." He walks up the stairs, nearly tripping over the last step in the process.

I bite my lip to keep from laughing. I look over and see Chani staring at me, and I quickly look away, blushing.

-

Jaeyoon's POV:

I go upstairs and collapse on my bed. I really need to get Inseong the hell out of my head, but he's just stuck there. He's concerned, but so is everyone else. He was the only one who cried, though. It doesn't matter. Nobody really cares about me. I'm just another person in the group who dances -like everyone else- and is given the occasional few lines. No one would even miss me if I left. So why do I stay? I sigh, because I already know the answer, it's sitting downstairs with beautiful brown eyes, a stunning smile that can knock the breath out of anyone, and the most dazzling personality.

Why do I like Inseong this much, that I have to run away and get drunk, just to forget him? Why do I care? Why do I worry if he doesn't like what I'm wearing? Or the color I want to dye my hair? What is wrong with me? Couldn't I just go out and fall in love with some girl? Why does Inseong have to have the prettiest eyes, the innocent expression, and the most amazing everything? Why? Just why?

I get so lost in my thoughts that they turn into dreams as I fall asleep.

Inseong and my own questions swirl around within the labyrinth of my dreams. I just can't escape him, no matter how hard I try, can I?

I wake up covered in sweat and shaking. Inseong was telling me he loved me... But that was just a dream. A figure of my imagination. But I so badly want it to become real. So bad that it hurts. I decide that it's time to go, it's 6:00, and no one cares anyway.

I change my outfit and head downstairs. Chani's studying at the table with Rowoon, Youngbin and Zuho are talking, and Hwiyoung's asleep on the couch.

I grab my keys and throw my shoes on.

"Bye." Zuho says, without even looking up.

"Yep." I say, and leave the house.

I get in my car and thank Heaven that I didn't have to face Inseong. That would have hurt like hell and made it harder for me to leave.

I turn onto the road and head to a bar that I haven't been to before, and it's far away from the SF9 household. I lock my car and walk in. I sit down, quickly order one small beer, and the waiting game starts. 

I only take one sip out of it when a tall guy with blue contacts in sits next to me and runs his hand down to my thigh. "What's your name?" He murmurs.

"Jaeyoon." I answer casually, spinning the ring on my middle finger.

"Well Jaeyoon, I think there's more of you that I'd like to see under all of that clothes."

"Okay... That's a good idea." I smirk and shift in my seat.

He presses his lips onto my messily, and although I have no desire to, and everything about this feels wrong I kiss him back.

-

A/n:

So, stay around for part two!

Word Count: 1032