Chapter Thirty two

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Things I can’t

It wasn’t dreary, nor was it this rainy scene with clouds overcasting the sky above. It was quite a fine day, nice and sunny, the warmth of the impending summer evident. A day in which children would spend out playing in the park’s playground, a day when the conventional suburban family would choose to have a barbeque with all their family friends over and laugh and joke over random events.

Such a nice, sunny day and yet Harry is sitting amongst a congregation in front of a dead body at his father’s funeral.

“Life is a fragile thing, like a feather which can be blown away in an instant and death is the hardest thing to cope with but eventually we realise that we have to let life lost fly with the wind, and that it is stronger moving with the winds where the earth can’t hold it.”  The pastor spoke. He was stood in front the large mass of people in filling the church. Some were ‘weeping’ for the loss of Don Styles, the others who know good of and bad of the man in the casket were too grief stricken for crocodiles tears.

Harry couldn’t weep, neither he say that he was a deep mourner, even as his son. Everything when it came to his father was just beyond confusing, especially because of recent events. He couldn’t even say that hated him now because he doesn’t. He might have even developed and ember of love for the man Don once was but that part of him was gone and well now, all of him was dead so. Ugh, talk about the definition of daddy issues.

The service passed by rather quickly, can’t say anybody wanted this type of event to be as long as they usually are. Ann was the only one to give a eulogy. Harry listened attentively to his mother’s words of all the sweet moments of their marriage. Some of them seemed hard to believe. They were beautiful.

It was amazing to Harry the way his mother could have overlooked his father’s problems. It seemed to be then that he realised that his mother didn’t stay because she was weak or that she was blinded by love because even love couldn’t stop the hits she got from hurting, but she stayed because he was weak and he needed the help and to be saved and because there was an actually man lost someplace inside the empty vessel that Harry saw. She stayed to regain what she had lost but it was too late then and if not it was most definitely too late after the car crashed.

When the time came to the actual burial, it was a slow journey to the cemetery. Harry, his sister and his mum walking closely behind the hearse as the rest of the people followed. He glanced behind him to see Niall walking behind him beside his father, Bobby. Bobby was his father’s basically second in command to the entire company and one of the few family friends, that’s how Harry and Niall became friends in the first place. He wasn’t really surprised by their attendance, he expected it. He just liked the thought of having some people he knew here. A lot was upon him now that Harry’s father was dead. Harry briefly wondered what would happen to his father’s company now that he’s dead.

The burial went by so quickly to him. The words spoken by the pastor and the sinking of that casket, he seemed to pass it all in this state of surrealism.

“He’s officially gone forever…” the back of his eyes burned and his entire body felt heavy. He got up as everybody started to leave and stumbled among the crowd until his hand collided with a tree. His breathe came out in fast puffs as he tried to control his breathing. Every time he blinked a memory of his father seemed to flash in front of him. Beads of sweat trickled down his forehead slowly, Harry’s heart was pounding. All of this was just too much for him. There were too many people, too much to process.

“Breathe, take a deep breathe.” Harry suddenly felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked over and saw Niall.

“Niall…” Haz managed to choke in between his breaths.

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