in case there's another storm

chapter 5

Sebastian found it more than difficult to make himself pull away, even as he realized Claude smelled like pot and even as it started to fully rain. When he found it in himself to let go, he sniffled and glanced over towards the bike. Was it alright for it to just sit in the rain like that?

"Um..." He cleared his throat. "Is- Is it very safe t-to ride..?"

"Yeah," Claude answered immediately, shuffling closer so the umbrella could cover them both, at least a little bit, "I've been driving for two years now."

"Then I... I guess I'll try to ride with you."

Claude smiled brightly.

They slowly worked it out so that Sebastian wore Claude's helmet, just in case, and clung to him with one arm while holding the umbrella with his free hand. He was scared he was going to fall off, or that they were going to crash. It was scary to willingly put his safety in someone else's hands. It was hard.

The arm around Claude's waist held tight, and, for extra precaution, he gripped some of his shirt in his fist, too. Luckily for him, Claude went nice and slow, and his house was pretty close. As Sebastian very carefully slid off the seat, he thought about how proud of himself he was, accepting help and letting himself be driven home and, most importantly, not dying on the way there. He followed Claude inside and wrapped his arms around himself, the air conditioning greeting him sending a shiver through his soaking wet body.

Cradling his bruised tummy and ribs, he let the other lead him down the hall to the bathroom, staying quiet as he was slowly taken care of. Sebastian sniffled quietly, wincing when Claude's fingers brushed up against a more sensitive spot. His mouth tasted like blood. As he was cleaned up, he would sneak little looks at Claude, and he felt his heart skip a beat or three. His brows were furrowed in concentration, and it was obvious how hard he was trying to stay ginger and soft with his touches.

He was so grateful for Claude, and he was so grateful that it wasn't a full out storm. Sebastian wasn't ready to cry in front of him for a third time.

"Which guys did this to you?" Claude asked after a long while of silence, sitting back on his heels.

Sebastian shrugged and stayed quiet, playing with the dripping hem of his skirt. As grateful as he was for the help, he was more than a little unwilling to talk about it. Feeling eyes on him, he just sniffled again and wiped fresh blood from his nose on his sleeve and tried to ignore how timid and mousy he felt.

He studied Sebastian's face for a moment before getting up to find an ice pack. Coming back and handing it to him, he took a seat in front of the boy once more. "Your nose is probably bruised. Keeping it iced for a while would be smart."

The pain medicine Claude gave him was helping his jaw from being an aching mess for the time being, so he leaned against the back of the toilet and held it to his nose, looking everywhere except the boy in front of him. Staying brave like he was on the bike was hard. Sebastian was ready to just curl up and hide away.

"I'll teach them a lesson," Claude murmured, watching him carefully for a reaction. "Tell me who did this and I'll make them sorry."

Sebastian was the first thing he wanted to protect. He had to start being a man and actually doing it. He couldn't keep being scared.

"I will. Promise."

He quickly shook his head, gnawing on his lip. "Please don't," Sebastian whispered, shutting his eyes. "It'll m-make everything worse, and- and... then they'll get re-real angry." His cheeks heated up. His stutter mortified him more than anything ever could. He wished he could just get out what he wanted to say. "Please don't."

"But it's what they deserve." Claude's anger was starting to come up again. He didn't realized it showed in his voice until Sebastian flinched, and he felt like guilt was going to choke him out. He was so mad, he was so mad that someone would hurt Sebastian, and he was so mad at himself for not stopping it, and he was even madder at himself for getting these feelings in his chest. "I'm sorry. I just... They're sending you halfway to death, Sebastian, don't you think they need to be taught a lesson? I..." He hesitated. If speaking things into existence was real, maybe if he didn't say it, it would just go away. But he just couldn't bite his tongue. "I want to protect you."

If God pulled the wool over Sebastian's eyes, he was going to ruin it now.

"I saw it happening, earlier... I was too scared to do anything. But now... I want to. I want to keep you safe, I want to make up for the times I didn't do anything, it's been tearing me up knowing that this is happening to you and I..."

Claude's throat closed up, and he looked down to the floor. Guilt really was going to choke him out now. He didn't want to start crying, but the thought of meeting Sebastian's gaze as he told him that he had watched him get beaten, time and time again, was overwhelming. He could see each time it happened in his eyes, he could feel the terror in how large and glassy Sebastian's stare was. If only he had stepped up...

"I need to make it right," he choked out, resting his forehead lightly against the boy's knee as tears rolled down his face. "I have to, I'm so, so sorry..."

Sebastian's eyes widened at the dismal confession, his hands clenching to fists. He felt a little mad right then, less sad, less self-deprecating, and more infuriated. He wanted to know how people could watch this happen, how they could just let it happen, how could someone see a person getting pummeled into the ground and just ignore it. It felt unfair.

And, despite this...

His lower lip quivered. Damn his empathy.

Setting his ice pack aside, he tentatively settled a hand on top of Claude's head. Something inside him hurt at seeing him cry. "It's okay," Sebastian whispered, and Claude visually shuddered, sobbing softly. "It's okay."

Claude peeked up at him, and his chest ached at the sight of those eyes all glassy and teary again.

"It's okay," Sebastian promised with a weak smile, even as he blinked and tears fell and caught onto the rims of his glasses, even though it wasn't. "I understand." He didn't think he could ever understand, but he didn't want Claude to cry.

Pulling away, he wiped his eyes and cheeks off with the backs of his hands before standing up, looking down at Sebastian.

"Can I hug you?"

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