sad beautiful tragic ~ elena gilbert

xiii. alaric saltzman

"One last try. I gave life one last try. And it failed on me. So, hey it's me, Elena."

Elena's desperate words stuck to Jeremy. His sister had been through so much and now he wished he was here with her. 

"You guys are on the last tape, wow. Isn't this just great? But if you're not Ric, please leave this audio and proceed on with your life. But if you decide to listen, don't go spreading rumors on him. He doesn't deserve people ruining his image because of a dead girl. And Ric, I am so sorry."

Alaric chuckled. Even when Elena was on the brink of death because of her friends and family she still put them first. 

"I know you would find this weird but I used to hate you. I could never loosen myself around you, discover myself, discover the world, find answers. I kept telling myself you were doing this because you wanted me to be perfect and to keep me away from the supernatural world. But none of me is perfect or normal. I'm knee deep in the supernatural world. But I kept on putting masks because I knew how much perfection meant to you. You were the closest thing I had to a father. The closest thing to normal. You were the opposite of the man who claimed to be my father. You weren't abusive or cruel."

Alaric's heart warmed. Taking care of Elena and Jeremy had been the closest he had ever come to having the life he had always wanted. He just wished he had paid more attention to Elena.

"I'd never thought I would see you more as Jenna's boyfriend, but they're right when they say people can change. Thank you, Ric. And don't let perfection ruin you like it did with me. Because someday you will look back and understand why it all happened this way."

Alaric sighed. Elena was right. The ghosts of his past kept on coming to haunt him and hid him from the happiness he deserved. 

"I'm probably gone now and I just want you to let loose. Enjoy your life. Get out of this small town and discover what the world truly offers. Go after what you want and you'll get it. Don't let Damon and the others steal your happiness. And take Jeremy with you and tell him that I love him and that I wish I could be with him."

Alaric's sobs grew and Jeremy went to comfort him. He couldn't bear to watch his last living family member cry. 

"I know what you're going to say. It makes them feel better, Damon. So what? For how long? A minute, a day? What differences does it make? Because in the end, when you lose somebody; every candle, every prayer is not going to make up for the fact that the only thing that you have left is a hole in your life where that somebody that you cared about used to be." Alaric said.

"I just wish someone could take me back to the start. But it's not possible. Maybe there was a life for me where I could have been happy but I decided to end it because I just wanted everything to stop. The sad part is that you all broke my heart in two but when it healed it still beated for all of you. No matter how hard I tried."

"We killed her," Jeremy uttered in disbelief.

"I made 13 tapes. Bonnie, Vicki, and Stefan who each broke my heart. Matt, Caroline, and Damon who each helped destroy my reputation. On through Elijah, Klaus, and my dad who broke my spirit. Through tapes one and twelve, Tyler Lockwood, who broke my soul. And some of you cared about me but none of you cared enough."

"It's powerful and painful just to imagine what Elena's last days were like, to try to understand what led her there, but if she wanted to end her life, we weren't going to stop her." Sherrif Forbes exclaimed, scaring the group, as she appeared out of thin air.

"We all cost a girl her life because we were afraid to love and care for her." Jeremy retorted.

"You can't love someone back to life." Sherriff Forbes exclaimed, exasperated with Jeremy's behavior.

"You can try," Jeremy said.