Timbre

Movement Three

Timbre: Movement Three

Elizabeth

I looked around for Jacobs in the school cafeteria, unable to find her. Giving up a few minutes after searching, I settled down outside of the boisterous dining area and watched as groups of friends laughed and conversed amongst themselves, their conversations seemingly jargonous with certain familiar words or phrases peeking out as members of the group would raise their voices to better get their point across. I took a bite of my pasta salad, sitting alone at a bench outside.

Having Jacobs as a partner wasn't as bad as I had initially imagined. She was the same as me, deep down, just... different. She had the same love and passion for the art of music that I possessed, perhaps even greater. The thing was, we valued different things regarding music.

Like Jacobs, I was a music education major, meaning that I had to take all of the credits that she did. However, I was studying to be a choir/chorale teacher while she was studying to be a... band director.

I hated band. It wasn't an intense loathing, as I myself played piano, it was just... not as enjoyable to me as it was to the brunette. Orchestra was better in my opinion, but as the years passed, less and less schools seemed to offer it which I found highly saddening. Classical music was the truest expression out there, and band really just didn't live up to it in my opinion.

Choir, however, was a deep passion of mine. I had been performing in recitals since the age of six, two years after initially picking up the piano and singing. I found it beautiful how one could convert voice into melody, using not only notes, but meaningful lyrics in a more universally recognized language to get their message across. The voice was the most versatile instrument, and one of the hardest to truly master in my opinion. It was typically not just something anyone could do well. It was something that required a lot of training and dedication.

I looked around one last time before getting up to leave. Oddly, Jacobs hadn't shown up. She usually would come and sit, eat a light meal, and work on the piece with me, but as time wore on, the time she spent doing so gradually diminished as her appetite did also.

With still a good amount of time until band, I decided to walk down to the band hall anyway. The piano in there had just been tuned not too long ago and I was yearning to play it. I hummed to myself, a slight skip in my step as I headed off to do so.

When I arrived in front of the entrance, my hand rested on the door. From the other side, a rich and smooth song sang out from what I deduced to be an alto saxophone. I bit my lip, pressing my ear to the door in order to better hear the reed instrument.

The piece didn't seem to be anything in particular that I was overly familiar with. It was a jazzy blues piece from what I could discern, though none of it seemed structured whatsoever. It was much more laid back, as jazz generally was. I continued to listen, trying to see if there was a musical phrase that was repeated throughout, but I couldn't. There wasn't one. Whoever was playing was improvising, something that I myself couldn't do.

Astounded, I opened the door quietly to see Carmen Jacobs playing her alto sax, with not even a music stand in front of her. She was consumed in what she was playing, not once losing her focus until she concluded her unplanned performance.

I clapped slowly, breaking the newborn silence. "Not bad."

Jacobs looked at me, eyes widened as she squeaked, "E-Elizabeth!"

"So this is why you didn't come to lunch today." I rolled my eyes at the eighteen year old. "At least you were doing something somewhat productive rather than bothering me like you have been doing."

She shrunk in her chair, her voice higher than usual. "H-How long were you there?"

I shrugged, not really seeing why it had mattered to her in the first place as I had heard regardless. "Long enough. Why?"

"I have stage fright," she confessed shyly.

"You're lying," I accused. "You mentioned being in a band with your boyfriend once. You perform with him just fine, don't you?"

"It's different," she explained, gently pressing the keys to her instrument. "It's not just me. Honestly, I'm not even worth anything to the band. I'm just backing guitar and vocals. Darren is the real star. I just exist to help accentuate his greatness."

"What?" I asked, clearly confused by what she was going on about. "What makes you think that?"

"Darren said so. He said that I help him look better, so in order to do so, I must look my best."

I pinched the bridge of my nose, frustrated with the idiotic brunette. "The only person you exist for is yourself. Your purpose is you, not your boyfriend, Dethan or whatever his name is."

"Darren," she corrected, rather defensively.

"Whatever." I rolled my eyes. "Have you eaten?"

Carmen refused to meet my gaze, instead taking interest in the empty band director's podium. "I wasn't hungry."

"And why is that?"

"Because I don't feel hungry?" she replied, confused as to why I was probing her. "I'm fine, okay. I'm happy and healthy. I don't need you questioning me. I can handle myself, I promise. The only person you need to worry about is yourself. Just because you're older doesn't mean it's your job to look out for me."

I opened my mouth and then shut it, unsure how to respond. She had a valid point. I myself didn't understand why I acted the way I did. I apologized, hoping to put it behind us. I didn't need the drama.

"It's fine," Jacobs sighed. "I'm sorry that I snapped. To be honest, I've been feeling stressed lately. It's just been work, college, and the band. It's getting to be a lot more than I had originally anticipated."

Jacobs laughed, pulling one of her curly locks, only for it to spring back up into place. I just nodded, not wanting to get into her business any more than I was.

What was I thinking? We aren't even friends.