The Stars Of Life

CHAPTER 6

I Gave Up

So what if I'm alone?
So what if she's gone?

I should stop searching for her,
I should stop loving because all I get is a scar,
a scar in my heart,
in my feeling & after everything I do, we get apart.

I gave up on loving a girl,
it's because I want my love story to be like a fairytale,
but it won't happen,
it has been two years now and I got nothing.
So what if I stop running after love?
I know that it'll be tough,
but every girl I asked out refused me,
and they all said you deserve better believe me.

Even the girl who got out with me left,
it's like I'm rejected by all,
and everytime I meet a girl, I rise and fall.

Am I meant to be alone?
I take a deep breath everyday and say "what's gone is gone",

am I never gonna have a smile again?
Am I always gonna go through this pain?

I remember the time I used to be with her under the rain,
with a lot of laughter, joy and happiness,
but from now on I should teach myself to care less,
but at the same time being harmless and being emotionless,
and being cold as ice,
so that this time when I fall, I rise.

I remember the time we planned our family tree,
and how it'll be,
I told her to name them,
she said fine I just hope we don't argue till then.

I gave up because I won't find what I'm looking for here,
I hate lying and telling someone I don't like "my dear",
I only had one girl that was really my sweetheart,
but look at us now, we're apart.

Everyone tells me "hey, are you okay? What's up?",
and I can't reply to them and say, that's it, I gave up.

I just give them a fake smile and say I'm okay,
I wish if my reply was "I loved her but she didn't stay",
and she thought I was lying when I said I love you all the way.

Hope

I like to be in a quiet room,

To think of ways that will lead me out of the gloom.

I like to be calm and easy going,

because I know one day I'll be
glowing.

I believe in fate,

everything will happen on a certain date.

People come, people leave,

but don't lose hope, always believe,

and focus on what you want to achieve.

I laid down by the ocean,

I laid down with caution,

I was thinking to become better,

to correct my speech letter by letter.

I was planning my future,

I became my own tutor,

I learned a lot,

life continues it'll never stop,

there's an up when you go down,

there's a smile after a frown,

there's love after pain,

flowers will grow after the rain,

there will always be a happy ending,

and this is the letter that I'm sending.

Wedding Night

It was a wedding night,
I was taking her back home with her friends and that was right.

Then her friends called a girl, she was the lookalike of my friend,
she was cuter and when I said that I didn't pretend.

That was on the time of spring,
but there was only one thing,

I wanted to know her,
I wanted to get her number,
but I kept begging and waiting till November.

Then my friend set up a date,
and I told her I'm okay its never too late.

I begged my friend to go with me,
he had exams and told me I would see.

He agreed and we went out, it was my first blind date,
I was so worried but I said maybe it's my fate.

Then we agreed on a place and we went to pick them up,
then I got out of the car and shook her hand and said «hey what's up?».
She gave me that beautiful smile,
and said I've been okay for a while.

Then we got in the car and went to ozone,
I was wishing maybe the next time we'll be alone!!

We talked, we had a lot in common, we laughed and we smiled. Then after two hours of joy and laughter,
I said to myself, this is good it could've been a disaster.

Then on the way back home, she sat on the front seat,
I was driving in a hurry but I said don't worry about the speed,
I told her about the accident I got in, and she said «alhamdulilah you survived».

Then we arrived her place and got her number,
and she said «drive safely, be alive, and inform me when you arrive».

Then I got home with a huge smile on my face,
and it's been so long since I've had that, and I hoped it'll continue.

We chatted and enjoyed ourselves, I showed her my hobbies and my poems, she loved them and said she's my fan,

and I promised I'll write one for her when I can,

and I am writing one now,
this came so fast and I don't know how?

We talked for three days and she disappeared, maybe there was something she feared,

maybe her ex came back,
maybe I've the worst luck.

I never give up, but I really gave up on this,
I gave up on relationships,
and I'll lay back, and whatever happens, happens,
I'll be patient, there's no need to hurry things up.