Midnight Howl

Apache Tears

Apache Tears are helpful for surfacing grief held in the emotional body in order to cleanse and heal old trauma or wounds from a previous life.

Yixing's ears were ringing. Everything was a blur. He didn't know how but he ended up in the Wolf Pack's underground hospital.

He sat in the lobby area, just waiting for news about Jongin. The tanned male was rolled in for surgery. Chanyeol promised Yixing that he would be okay. Chanyeol never breaks his promises.

So Yixing sat there, staring at his blood stained hands. He couldn't stop seeing Lucifer's cold, dead face in his mind. One minute, he was thrashing, he was fighting back. And the next, he went limp, cold, just like a rag doll.

Yixing barely registered the door slamming open nor did he register Kris scooping him up for a tight hug. It wasn't until he heard the gentle whispers of reassurance from Kris that he snapped out of his haze.

"It's okay Queen, you're safe. You're with me now. It's going to be okay."

Yixing hid his bloody hands from himself as he tightened his hold on Kris, his head burrowing into the latter's chest. Kris could only hold Yixing tightly, for the pure male had lost a part of him that he would never get back.

"Kris." His cry out was barely a croak. The later however, looked down, "What is it Queen?"

"I-I am a monster."

"No baby, no. You could never be a monster. It was just reflexes, you were just trying to protect Jongin."

Yixing held up his hands for Kris to see, his pale fingers now stained with the sins he committed, "I never threw a knife before Kris, and it hit dead on where I wanted it to hit. If I had missed even three inches, it would have hit Jongin. An-And I attacked Lucifer. I had one thought in my brain and that was to kill him. Kris I never felt like that before. I could only see red."

Kris was silent.

"It was like, something took control of my body...and I enjoyed watching Lucifer dying."

Kris could only lift Yixing up and take him to the nearest bathroom to wash off the blood. The silence between them was heavy but the touches they shared was reassuring to Yixing. Tao showed up later, looking very somber as he held clothing in his hand.

Yixing took them gratefully and went into an empty hospital room and changed out of his bloody clothes. He pulled on the jeans and what seemed to be Kris's sweatshirt. The sweatshirt was way too big but it smelled of Kris's comforting cologne and that's all Yixing needed right now.

When he came back out, all washed up and clean, he saw the doctor standing next to Kris, talking very solemnly. Yixing hurried towards the mob boss, hoping to catch bits of their conversation.

"-went well. He's supposed to wake up any second. Luckily he's had experience with these types of wounds before and his body has become very resilient." Yixing was grateful to overhear the last of the doctor's words.

Kris nodded and dismissed the doctor. He took Yixing's hand and brought it up to his lips. With a gentle kiss, he intertwined their fingers and led Yixing into where Jongin was resting.

The dread settled once more on Yixing's heart as he walked into the hospital room. Jongin was lying on a bed, eyes closed and his chest barely moving. He was hooked up to so many machines, beeping as they slowly brought him back to health. Jongin looked so pale, so fragile. He looked nothing like the playful trickster he usually was. Yixing walked towards him, slowly sinking down to his knees next to the cot.

Kris placed a hand on Yixing's shoulders, "Queen, I'll be right outside making some calls. Will you be alright here?"

Yixing just nodded his head, not taking his eyes off of  Jongin's resting body. He heard the footsteps of Kris's expensive shoes against the cold hospital tiles. The door opened and shut and Yixing was left with Jongin, unwavering silence and his destructive thoughts.