The Line between Family and the Streets

Maybe i wouldve been different ...

I always used to look at other kids with happy families and think "Would they be struggling without their dad being there? " To my friends I guess it was Just normal to not have your father around but to me it was always an issue. I didn't Like seeing father's at their child's school or buying them school clothes. I hated happy families because mines was all messed up.  I always thought was my dad abusive or was my mom Just Crazy.  I hated that my brothers and sister knew both parents.  they didn't know what it was like asking another man for things or having to call someone else Dad or even having to explain to people why I'm the Darkest out of all my mom's kids.  I never knew how to explain that I had never seen my dad before until I was 17 almost 18 years old.  what do you say when people joke you or say your a Bastard because you don't know your dad.  smh people Just don't understand.  . maybe No one ever will.  I couldn't ask questions about my dad or tell funny stories because even if the story was funny when I heard it,  to me it wasn't the same because I heard it from someone else I didn't see it on my own. Now don't get me wrong My dad has ALWAYS paid his Child support. I was always able to get things I needed  and to me that was just like being around . and no matter what anyone says that more than other guys do for their child and thats another reason why i dont hold a grudge . But after years and years of wanting my dad in my Life I finally got connected to one of my dad's cousins.  Yes My Real Dad had family in Virginia, Boy Oh Boy was I geeked.  I started crying before I even said my first word to him.  after a few months in September of 2013 he found a way to get me Connected to my dad.  when I first met my dad we Hugged for soo long it felt unreal.  I didn't want to let go.  but once I did I noticed he had two daughters and a Wife.    . man I was Just thinking like dang I know they like " Lord now we gotta act like we like her " . Man I was scared but I decided to act like myself and I broke the ice.  my First words was " y'all Pretty,  Yeaa we gotta be family " . Everybody Just laughed and we all started to talk like we knew each other since birth.  that was one of the happiest moments of my Life.  I Always thought when I met my dad I was gonna snap out and say this and that but in all actuality I forgot that he was never there because to me I was a baby again and this was Just the beginning.