A Collection of Short Stories

02

"Oceans" by Hillsong United
1:06 am - 1:46 am

"Walk across this lake, and you'll have me."

It was nightfall. Crickets chirped loud, but not loud enough to drown out the words that remained in my head. The words he said to me. The words that wore impossible like a satin dress. I can't do it. I can't do it anymore. The very poison that I crave. Fatal enough to kill me with a singular drop but dear lord it was something I wanted so bad. Enough to put my life on the line.

I can't swim. I feared water with a passion so deep as the ocean that ran chills down my spine. If that's what it would take then it would be done.
I dove in the water clenching my teeth. My neck's veins flexed themselves as my throat began to burn. Not from the water but from the fear and anxiety that came from being in it. I could see him from across the lake. He watched me struggle. Although I was, I would get there. I would do it, I will.

My body slammed against the water in a forceful urge. Trying to keep my head up was a challenge. I didn't know what I was doing. All I knew was I had to make it across alive and heaven would be mine to keep. My feet were failing me as I kicked and thrashed my arms around in the dark, murky waters. It was now that I began to open my mouth up to cry out. To release that inner burning feeling. Instead of air I let in the dangerous substance that was to kill me. The fear, I let it in. I felt like I was beginning to choke. I tried to spit it out only to splash more water back in.

"Pl-please!"

I struggled to even let the words escape from my mouth. It felt like I was already drowning yet I was still alive. I did not want to die. I wanted to live, for him. Not for myself, God, I hated myself. I couldn't even make it yards out before I began to fail.

I just wanted him to meet me in the middle.

I held my head up for so long trying to keep myself breathing. I still splashed and whipped myself around in the water, over and over. An endless nightmare. The only thing that kept me going was the hope that I would find an angel to bring me light. I pushed. I carried on, half way to my light. To my one and only, to my love. I would do anything for him.

My ribs tightened and I could feel myself putting weight back on my shoulders. It felt as if a ball and chain had been linked to my ankle. I could feel myself sinking back down once more. I couldn't, I couldn't. I had to stay up. I had to keep myself up. I can't drown, I can't die, or I'll be nothing but a ghost.
My eyes stung and burned from my fire's enemy. Please, my love...just throw me a life raft.

I'm running out of breath...

I could feel the sand beginning to approach. The best feeling in the world as I experienced this sharp pain running throughout my whole body. My lungs felt like they were going to give out at the very last moment. I'm not being boarded with sand, am I? I'm still being watered. How can my legs give up as the finishing line is right there? You can't, please, don't give up. Carry yourself to him, you have to.

I was overwhelmed with delusion and unknown. Yet, I made it. I could feel the sweet reminisce of the shore I had felt prior to all of this torture. My love, look at me. I am yours, I did it.
He looked down at me throwing myself onto the shoreline. Disappointment and unsatisfactory wore him. I felt tears. Hot tears. I did it, why can't you see that?

"I said walk."

My eyes widened. They took in his words better than my ears did. My heart shattered into pieces. It felt as if a silver bullet with his name on it punctured me. My chest tightened so hard. Harder than the legs that carried me, harder than the lungs I used to breathe, harder than the ribs that I felt had cracked, harder than the very bone that made my structure.

"I can't walk across water, it's impossible..."

"Then we are, impossible."

I felt worse than how I did fighting through my fear. I was breathless yet I still breathed. What was this feeling...

He began to fade into many orbs of light.

"You need to go home now. I'm leaving you."

"No, please don't go! Don't leave me, please!"

I screamed aloud with the last bit of might I could. The tears fell from my face as my hope did. I felt immense pain. I was struggling, I was hopeless, I was a lost cause. I felt like a begging puppy.

"Please don't leave me, please don't leave me, please don't leave me."

I tried to get up to run to him. I was too late. He was gone. I reached for the spot he once stood. 'Please don't leave me.' Is all I could speak from my quivering lips. I laid there in sorrow and dismay. He slipped from my fingertips and there is nothing, nothing. Nothing I can do anymore, but weep in my own sadness. My own stress. My own pity. My own regret. My own conflict. I failed.