In The Raw

One

My heart stopped.

The usual joy drained from my eyes as I peered intensely into my mother's eyes. I waited for the grin to rip through her solemn countenance, reassuring me that the words released from my father's mouth were indeed false. Nothing. Not even a smirk. I tore my eyes away from mother's gaze, and frantically settled on my father's eyes. Still nothing. After three minutes of thick, stagnant silence, I finally broke.

   "Please tell me you guys are joking. This a joke, right?"

Looks were exchanged between my parents. My father scratched his neck awkwardly. My mother picked at her perfectly manicured nails. "Sian, honey, this isn't a joke," she started, "Dad got a new job after the hospital shut down, and unfortunately, the best offer he received was from Phoenix. I know moving stinks, hun, but look on the bright side! We already have a house and you're going to adore it, plus..."

I could feel my body flush with irritation that I desperately tried to contain. It wasn't my father's fault that the hospital shut down, or that he had to find a new job. After all, our family needs to be supported somehow. I knew all of this, and I tried to be happy, I really did. But I was irritated. I didn't want to leave Illinois, I didn't want to leave my friends, and I most definitely did not want to pack up my belongings and move to Arizona. As Mom babbled on and on about the house, and the area, and god knows what else, I hopped off the kitchen stool stiffly and stalked out of the room. 

"You've got to be shitting me," I mumbled, storming up the stairs. My feet lead me to my room while my head swam with all this new information. New place. New people. New life. The cool wood floor of my bedroom provided some relief from my irritation, and I quietly shut my door before letting out a low groan. Padding over to my mirror, I plopped down onto the floor and pulled the ratty hair tie off my wrist. It took twenty minutes to brush my black, curly mane and mold it into a bun. During this time, my coffee brown eyes returned to their typical peaceful state, and my light chestnut complexion returned to normal. Only one thing nagged at me: three weeks. Three weeks until I leave this all behind and start fresh. I felt queasy just thinking about how fast everything was moving. With sophomore year behind me, my summer kickoff consisted of moving. Fantastic.

"Hey Si, wanna go get some ice cream?" Zane leaned against my now open door, hands shoved in his jean pockets. He looked sympathetically down towards me. I offered him a half smile, then nodded and slipped on my Birkenstocks.

"You know you're the best big brother in the whole world?"

He chuckled. "C'mon, let's go."

~~~

I sat in the passenger seat of Zane's Honda Accord and licked my cookie dough ice cream. For a while, we didn't talk. For a while, Zane and I just ate our ice cream and sat comfortably in each other's presence, taking in everything around us. I took another lick of my ice cream before asking, "Are you happy about Arizona?"

Zane looked at me and thought quietly. "Actually, yeah I am."

My eyebrow quirked up, and he laughed softly. "Honestly Sian, I really think that it won't be as awful as you think it is. Rockford is sick and everything, but starting fresh is a really cool experience. Arizona means opportunity. It's our chance to be anything and everything we have ever wanted be. Mistakes made here don't matter anymore. It's a clean slate. Plus, we'll get to meet cool people and go to insane places that Rockford just doesn't have. Phoenix is new and exciting. Plus, Dad is getting paid more money and, according to Mom and Dad, our house is crazy cool. If it makes you feel better, we can still get ice cream in Phoenix."

Laughter bubbled up out of me and I smiled in agreement. We finished the rest of our ice cream and drove home as the sun set. The sky was painted in pinks and oranges, streaked with blues, and splattered with purples. The halo of color surrounding the Sun was spectacular. When I finally adverted my gaze, I found myself agreeing with Zane. Arizona was something to be happy about. Zane turned off the ignition in the garage, and we both entered the house together. Mom and Dad sat together in the living room, cuddling together on the love seat tucked into the corner of the room. "I didn't know eating ice cream took so long guys!" Mom joked, smiling dearly. Zane chuckled and I rolled my eyes playfully, before cracking a smile. I took the stairs two by two, and sprung onto my plush grey comforter. It was 9:41 pm. I guess we really were out longer than I thought. Oh well. After spending ten minutes scrolling through Instagram and Twitter, a yawn escaped my mouth. I stood up and padded over to my drawers, picking out a big track and field t-shirt and a pair of black shorts. Jean shorts were shimmied off and replaced by fluffy black shorts, and I traded out my red top for the comfy t-shirt. I opened the bathroom door adjacent to my bedroom and walked in, standing in front of the mirror and the sink. Quickly, I brushed my teeth and washed my face, then I flicked off my bathroom lights, as well as my bedroom lights. Surrounded by darkness, with the exception of the moon peeping through my window, I snuggled into my sheets and let out a breath of content. Relaxation set into my body, and I melted further into the sheets. Sleep coaxed me and I let it; I finally fell into a deep sleep, engulfed in warmth.