Run (Don't tell me bye bye) | Sope

Now you know

How I said it's just an imagination!
You can be disgusted of me if you want...
*sigh  
And also how I said I wrote this before my friend told me that she PROBABLY moves to another city.

Hoseok's pov

Surprised I widen my eyes.
(Do you remember when I said "Doesn't matter if Yoonmin or Sope, I ship us." ?)
He grabs the back of my neck and pulls me closer and I close my eyes and sit on his knees. Yoongi deepens the kiss. I don't know what to do and struggle with a chaos of different emotions. I end the kiss, lean my head against his shoulder and whimper desperately while gripping his other shoulder hard.

"You okay?", Yoongi asks, hiding that the grip hurts a little.
"Not really", I answer. "Why did you kiss me now? Because you felt like you have to?
Pity?"
"N-no"
I look up. "Soo...?"

My friend doesn't look comfortable looking in my eyes. "Because ...I told you already I really like you... and yeah I feel quite guilty. And it will be the last-"
"Then better you bite me!" I shout disappointed that he did it out of guilt while I stand up from his knees and stand a few steps away from him.

Yoongi lowers his gaze and says sadly "I agree with that few people; I'm not good for you... for anyone."
"I agree too to be honest but you are not only bad for me either!"
"I'm leaving"
I'm shocked. "...what?" It's barely over a whisper. This information needs a while until it really reachs me. I'm like frozen.

He stands up and steps in front of me  but looks on the floor.
"I'm moving to France with my grandpa and..... I don't know if I'm coming back..."
Panic starts to come up and I feel like somebody hit me in the stomache. My heart is beating fast and hard. I take a deep breathe and...
"...okay... I hope you are happier there" I say and force a smile.

Yoongi looks surprised "You...don't beg me to stay here?!"
"No. I'm not that selfish that I'm begging you to stay here just because I want you to." I'm trying to say it in a normal tone while hot tears burn in my eyes. But not as much as my chest burns.

I hold my upper arms and try to quench the pain in my chest. Breathing seems to get heavier. My knees feel really instable and a tear found it's way down my cheek.

Yoongi comes to me and hugs me.
I return it and hold him as tight as possible while my body shivers slightly.

"When are you leaving?" My voice cracks.
We let go of each other.
"This saturday"
"And why" I put my hands in the bags of my jacket.
"I hate my home. I can't see anything here anymore. It's just... I can't stand it anymore. I need a new start."

Meanwhile I cry silently. I don't trust my voice so I just nod.

"I need to go", means Yoongi after checking the time on his phone, "My train drives in 10 minutes"
He doesn't look in my eyes.

I try to calm myself down while I dry my face with both hands.
"S-sorry ...such a crybaby. But we can still text, can we?"

"No", he is teard up too. "Delete my number and forget it!" He says with an agressive tone and walks away.
While I first felt only fear, sadness and desperation and could barely say something, this words make me angry somehow. Without thinking about what I'm doing I follow him.

"In the song it means  'cause I forget but I'll never forgive you.
For me it's more like cos I forgive and I'll never forget you!" While I spoke Yoongi stopped. I laugh in desperation and tears.
I guess he wanted to just hasten away but my words changed his mind.

He turns around and hugs me again.
"I really need to go now. Good bye."
He sets a kiss on my cheek and runs away.

~   ~   ~   ~   ~
I can barely remember what happened after he left.
I just woke up in a hospital and was told that I had a panic attack and fainted. And that a person in the park saw me and called the hospital.
Well, I still have four dbd sites which I could write down here but I don't give a shit so...
But there is a part I really want to tell you!

So I sat on that bed and have told my parents and the doctor what happened. I felt nothing. Just coldness...
~    ~    ~    ~    ~

My mum looked at me, depreciative.
"Oh, are you serious!?"
Puzzled I turned my head to her.
"Because of that you are making such a drama? That's not the end of the world. You will survive it.
Probably it's good that he is gone! Tse, and I worried so much!" She scoffs.

"AAAH, YOU DICKHEAD!"
You act like it's nothing!? Like it's a runaway cat! I FUCKING LOVE HIM, YOU BITCH!"

My mum looks shocked because I yelled and cursed at her and slapped her  in the face.

So that was it. I saw Yoongi again, years later. But it was different and quite weird. Now you can use your imagination continue the story  how you want😉
Bye, I'm your Hope, J-Hope.