You Are

You Are: Chapter 2

Chapter 2-

 

It must have been a dream. I was in my bed, I could feel it. I could feel Matt’s body heat next to me. I opened my eyes and looked over. It was just Tally, and on the other side was Liz.

“Are you awake Maggie?” Liz was awake too, looking right at me with a troubled expression on her face.

“Yeah. What happened?”

“We can wait to talk about that. Would you like me to get you something to eat?”

“Sure. Thanks Liz.”

Liz got up out of bed and walked towards the kitchen. I leaned up against the backboard of the bed and looked out the window. Pitch black. That’s weird because the last time I was awake it was light. And I was talking to Matt. I looked over at Liz in the kitchen making me some easy mac. Something just didn't seem right.

“Liz?”

“Yeah Maggie?”

“What happened to Matt.”

Liz dropped the bowl she was using and looked over at me. She seemed even more concerned now.

“I don’t think you want to know, Maggie.”

The way she was looking at me, I knew the nightmare about the paramedics and the beeping was a reality.

“He OD’d, didn’t he.”

Liz came over and sat by me. She took my hands in hers.

“Yeah, he did.”

She had tears in the corner of her eyes. The tears made everything come together for me.

“He died... didn’t he.”

“Yes, Mar. He did.”

That was when my whole world seemed to come to an end. Matt… dead? It’s not possible. I was just talking to Matt, he was touching me, trying to get me into bed.

All of these special moments flashed before my eyes like a home movie. He was offering me a cookie at age 5. He held my hand and walked me all the way home when I was scared at age 7. He gave another boy a black eye for calling me carrot top at age 10. He kissed me for the first time at age 12. He asked me to be his girlfriend two weeks later. Told me he loved me at 15. We made love at 17.  Every moment he was… Matt. The Matt that would rush me out of a movie theater if there was a scary movie preview. The Matt that would pick me up and throw me over his shoulder whenever he saw me in the halls at school. The Matt that wore a tuxedo to Prom because I thought he was going to wear jeans and he wanted to make me proud. The Matt that told me he’d come to New York with me because he never wanted to be without me. The Matt I knew and loved.

 

Then the times flashed before my eyes when he… wasn’t. The time we almost had sex when we were 15, but he was drunk and I stopped him. When he told me he’d go to rehab at 17 but ended up living with his drug dealer. I found him in the hospital when he was hit by said dealer….

 

FLASHBACK

I was sitting on the couch writing my college entrance essay. “Everything that happens in life, it happens for a reason. I know for a fact that though my life has been difficult, but I know I can overcome anything.” I looked at the 500 word essay and I was proud. I hope Matt reads this, he would love that I was writing my essay on him. He was doing so well lately, the drugs had stopped for about two months. I was impressed. I was checking my e-mails when my phone started to ring. I looked over and it was an unknown number. Great, I know what that means.