Into Ruin

Chapter 24 Fear

Sobs racked Vita's body as she tried to get herself under control. Yet more and more tears flowed down her face. To make matters worse, the sobs were loud and unattractive, drawing more attention than she ever wanted.

Rob was alive.

The only person who really understood the grave nature of the situation was attacked and stuck two states away. What if Gunnar said something about the baby? What if Rob came looking for her? What if he went crazy and killed Gunnar? And why the hell did the last one scare her the most?

Mischa, who moved around a little better on her feet now that her leg was healing, sat by her side with Quinton. Mischa rubbed her back and asked Vita to tell her what was wrong. Biting her lip, Vita shook her head. She was in too deep to admit any of her fears. Behind a blurry curtain of tears, Cynthia and Mr. M. walked by to check on her as well.

Vita wanted to chalk this all up to pregnancy hormones, but a deep pain penetrated her chest. It grew tighter and the world around her got even foggier as the pain intensified. Everything faded as the throbbing overtook her body. Air got lost on the way to her lungs. The room went up at least five degrees. Vita shuddered, wondering if this was the end of her and the baby.

"Vita, you need to breathe," Cynthia's voice was a lot closer than Vita anticipated.

Vita tried to focus on it, but she was lost for what felt like an hour to the pain and fear. Scenes of bleeding babies, a bruised-up Gunnar and a burning pile of bodies, hers at the top, flashed before her eyes over and over again. A soundtrack of screams, crackling flames and crunching bones echoed inside off the inside of her skull.

"Stop!" Vita yelled. Familiar voices crept through the din.

"You can do this Vita. Just purse your lips and take a deep breath. And exhale." Cynthia continued to coach her through the breathing until her chest felt a little lighter and the images faded. The pain gradually slipped away.

"You're doing great Vita," Mischa's voice came from her left. A hand squeezed her sweaty palm. Her whole body felt like she'd spent half an hour in a sauna.

"You're going to be okay," Cynthia said and placed a hand on her shoulder. "You're strong. You'll get through this." She brought a glass of water up to Vita's lips and she took a drink. Coughs overtook her body as the liquid went down the wrong pipe. Eventually, she got it right.

As she became more aware of her surroundings, more and more people had stopped to watch her meltdown. She grimaced at those who had nothing better to do than gawk at someone losing their shit. Quinton stood up and tried to move some of them along.

"What was that?" Vita asked Cynthia, her voice shaking, almost afraid to hear her informed answer.

"My best guess would be a panic attack."

"Are you sure? It felt like I was going to die, or like..."

Cynthia looked her over again. "I can't be sure, but given the circumstances, that looked like a panic attack."

Vita cradled her head in her palms. Her situation was bad enough, and now she had stupid over-reactive panic attacks to add to the list. Gunnar had hardly been here for any time at all and they'd hated each other far longer than they'd tolerated one another. It made no sense that she was so upset about this!

"I should go." She tried to stand up despite Cynthia's protests. Cynthia and Quinton caught her as her wobbly legs gave way.

More tears fell from her eyes. Her mattress landed with a thud a few meters from the group of them. Mr. M and Winston stood beside it with wide eyes. Her heart throbbed in a different way. Poor Winston was already having such a hard time dealing with the transition. Her sorrow would only confuse him more. She held her arms open and tried to choke down her tears as he dove in for a hug.