everything ❦ ten

t h r e e ♔

Lucas and Stefanie were giving each other heart warming stares, he towered over her which made it even more unbearable to watch. I gulped softly, as I watched the two laugh and then slowly saunter go to the counter to order. It's almost as if they were in their own world, maybe even a date. They didn't care about the rest of us sitting at the table who could be waiting for them, they were being selfish.
I turned my entire body back to my previous position, I didn't want anyone to expect that I was watching Lucas and Stefanie. In front of my friends, I pretended to smile before any of them could notice, the last thing I needed was for any of them to tease me. Unfortunately, Doyoung had been watching me the entire time. He held his drink, a stern expression like someone that had just caught you doing something you shouldn't have been doing.

While Mark and Johnny were getting a little rowdy, I tried not to fiddle due to Doyoung's stares. If I appear uncomfortable then he'd suspect something, if he hadn't already.
Today wasn't my day, something about being surrounded by my friends just didn't feel the same way as before. Haechan and Renjun were talking about something funny they experienced recently at a fair. I had no idea that they went to a fair, I would have loved to go. Then suddenly it hit me, when Mark, Doyoung, Taeyong and Johnny joined their conversation that they had all went without me.

But why? Why wasn't I invited? I wasn't too busy, sure, I spend a awfully painful amount at the center but they know I'm never seriously busy.
This was sort of like high school all over again, you lose your friends. I didn't want to exclude myself, say I had to leave but lie why. I couldn't tell them that I was uncomfortable because that would only make things worse, they would see that we were in fact distancing from each other. But apart of me wanted to leave, be around people that hadn't forgotten to call me to hang out or simply call me just to check on me.

            I couldn't deny it, I was also to blame. I couldn't just wait for my friends to call me all the time, I also had to reach out to them.

It was hard to not overthink, perhaps they were all busy and it wasn't just me. Maybe I wasn't losing my friends. Maybe I'm just simply overreacting. Everything's fine.
Johnny nudged my shoulder, "You should've been there, it was hilarious!" He smiled at me, not even questioning my pout. I quickly smiled, "What happened? Why didn't you guys invite me?"

Mark was listening to our conversation. Johnny played with his straw, not acting like his cheerful self he was a second ago. "I don't know I guess Haechan forgot to call and tell you," he saw my reaction and quickly added, "It wasn't that we didn't care or didn't want you there it's just that we know you've been busy with your grandad and helping around the center. Just didn't want to bother you." I tried to act as if I was pleased by what he said, but the truth was that I wasn't.

Mark added, "Don't worry, the next time we go we'll text you." He was leaning in towards the table just to look at me because Johnny was in the way. I guess Mark was showing genuine concern considering he tried so hard to ease my frustration and disappointment.
I nod, "No prob," I trail my index finger along the counter, "But you better seriously text me next time, otherwise I'm gonna post embarrassing photos of you." I said innocently.

Johnny laughed at me, then looked at Mark, "Embarrassing photos?," he then looked back at me, "Oh, tell me more."
Mark's eyes widened, "Don't! I have reputation to uphold, my life will be over if you cyber bully me." He grabbed the sides of hair, closing his eyes and whining.

"Cyber bully?" I raised an eyebrow, Johnny looked at Mark, "Yeah, what do you think he is an asshole?" Mark looked back and fourth at the two of us, "I'm serious don't, you know what embarrassment does to me." Yeah, I sure do.
I chuckled, "Yeah, like last time you got embarrassed when I didn't get your corny joke and I just stared at you. So you hide in my cat house." I smiled at Johnny, wishing he had saw what I was talking about. Mark was so embarrassed that he hide in the cat house because it was right there and he was scared to leave my room. So the entire night he hide in there because I was still in the room and he waited until I fell asleep to sneak out.

Johnny raised an eyebrow, "You have a cat house? A house for a cat? Why?" He frowned, trying to understand what the hell I was talking about.

I looked at him as if he was crazy, "For my cat, duh. I'm not gonna get one for a dog otherwise it would be a dog house." I tapped the temple of my head and shook my head, I exchanged eye contact with Mark and shook my head again, "See this is what I have to deal with." I joked with Mark, which made him laugh at how ridiculous I was being.
"But you don't even have a cat." Johnny reminded. I stood up, "Then obviously I'll get a cat." I walked away while he laughed at my stupidity.

Approaching Lucas and Stefanie wasn't hard, I just pretend as if my heart doesn't break into a million pieces when I see them together, and then I'm alright. Lucas was on his phone while the two of them were waiting for their drinks. He was smiling down at his screen, giggling that stupid laugh he always does.
"What did you order?" I asked, standing beside her with my arms closed and staring at the menu in front of us. I turned to face her, waiting for a response. "Iced Americano." Stefanie quickly said, not even looking at me. She sounded really upset, that was my cue to leave but I didn't. "You sound mad." Not the way I wanted it to come out but, hey, at least I didn't faint this time.

"That's because I am."

"My I ask why?" My tone lower, thing to sound innocent.

"It never stopped you before."

I took a deep breathe, normally I completely avoided people like her. But since I adored her so much, I ignored the irritation that was building up inside of me. "Did I do something to piss you off?"
"Now you ask? No, Ten I have no reason to pissed off at you. It's not as if you shoving Lucas to the floor on purpose and not apologizing made me angry. I'm totally not annoyed that you're a jackass who tries so hard to get a girl to like you." Well that's straightforward!

I stared at her for a moment before asking, "Do you like him?" She quickly looked away, "Maybe... he's cute."

"Maybe? Maybe you shouldn't like him." I said. She turned her head, then scoffed. I continued, "He's younger than you." I reminded. Her eyes darkened, she clinched her jaw, "So?" There was no going back now.

"You're like a cougar." Oops, that didn't come out right. Where's the delete button?!

"Are you fucking kidding me?"

Lucas came over, he didn't know what was happening so he handed Stefanie her drink. She looked down at it then back at me, I knew exactly where this was going.

"Don't, I'm sorry!" I held my hands out, just as she tried to throw her drink my way. I catch the drink while it was still in her grip and I pushed it towards her, not realizing I pushed too hard.
She tired to push my hands back but I tried to push the drink away, not realizing how intense this was becoming. With both of us squeezing the plastic drink, the the lid came off and spilled all over her chest. Her blouse was completely stained with dark spots and her expression was priceless. Not gonna lie, it was kinda funny.