Elastic Heart (Z.M)

past/present

Blair P.O.V

Being confident isn't something you do automatically. You aren't brought into this world with a backbone either. Confidence takes time and actually putting effort into loving yourself.

That's something my grandmother explained to me once before she passed away. Maybe if I would have had more confidence in me or loved myself more, my life wouldn't be what it is now.

I should have fought for myself when no one else was.

It's hard to have confidence in yourself, when the only things pointed out, are the failures. Where you went wrong. How you did it wrong. Then the rants about how you can't do even the simplest things right. Having that said to you every single day, from ages 9-17, turn you into a person with very low self esteem.

Then let's say someone comes along. They take the time to get to know you. The time to learn your likes and dislikes. To learn what cause you to hurt. Let's say you're drowning in the ocean of your depression, and just when you think you are about to hit rock bottom something unexpected happens.

Someone takes you by the hand and begins to left you up.

Then you finally break into the surface and you can breathe.

And it feels so damn good.

You feel alive. Feel the world around you. You are no longer numb to your surroundings. There is blood flowing through your veins and can feel it. There are sounds coming from everywhere and you can actually hear them. You are actually living. You are alive.

And it's all because one person, took the time to learn how to love you, and in favor taught you how to love yourself as well. How can I explain it?

Let's say you are empty. Like a desert. Everything dry and dead on the inside. Nothing grows, nothing happens. You're simply empty. When someone comes along and fixes the misfitted axis of your world. It's like a fucking tsunami came splashing through your desert. Things are muddy for awhile because water is seeping into the cracks. And when its finally done soaking into the last of the driest pores, you blossom.

Bright skies and colors begin to take over. You have meaning. You have a purpose in this world. Your life is now colors and sunshines, instead of drought and dust. You are in love.

When you meet someone that brings color and meaning to your world, you lose yourself in that person. In those times he's holding you together while you're falling apart, broken pieces inside of you finally start to come together. You feel whole. Complete.