My Sunshine (Larry AU) Completed

Chapter 1

I'm laying here unconcious in the hospital once again. What has this world come to? Why do I matter? 

These thoughts roll though my head as I hear voices around me. Yup, unfortunately I'm saved once again. I can never succeed. Not only can I feel the blood pounding in my head but I can also feel it in my wrist as the skin is being pulled. Stiches.

This is my life. The very miserable life that comes with being Harry Styles. The social outcast. The invisible kid. No one notices my existance. Okay that may be a lie. I have two friends, Niall and Liam but that's besides the point. They don't know my whole story. I used to live in Cheshire before coming here to Doncaster. Which it's only been almost two years since we moved. My family moved here to get away from my past but somehow it has followed me here. I can't trust anyone.

Of course there's more to my story but why would I tell you? Does it matter? No it doesn't because nothing will ever change. My parents and sister Gemma are the only ones besides Niall and Liam that I really care about. I try to stay strong for them but every week the voices get louder and the urges come quicker as my thoughts get darker. Then somehow I find myself with a blade in my hand. I used to use legit razor blades but my parents found them and hid them from me so I've been clever enough to use pencil sharpeners and hide them in places I won't ever tell you. It's sometimes rare that I end up in the hospital but it has happened 4 other times.

I'm unwillingly wanting to open my eyes but I'm afraid of facing the guilt and heartbreak of my family once again. But I have to wake up at some point right?

My eyes flutter for a few seconds, adjusting to the light in the small white hospital room. I look around blinking quickly. "Harry!!!" My mum runs up to me engulfing me gently in a warm hug.

"Oh baby why? Why are you hurting so much? I can't stand to see my baby like this."  

"Mum, I'm fine."         "Harry you're not fine! You're in the hospital for the 5th time. You promised me you would stop hurting yourself like this and I believed you all 4 times but I'm not having it now. I don't want to lose you Harry. Harry baby you're going to go to therapy after school every Tuesday and Thursday. No excuses." 

I open my mouth to say something but the nurse walks in. "That is a great idea Mrs. Styles." The blonde nurse spoke, obviously evesdropping. "Harry you are going to stay in over night just to be sure and you will be released tomorrow at 3:30pm."

"Which is perfect timing for your first therapy session at four considering tomorrow is a Tuesday." My mum interrupted with a sheppish smile while I just glare at her.

The nurse leaves the room which leaves both of us in complete silence. "You know Robin and Gemma and I really do care about you Haz. And it breaks my heart knowing that you feel the need to hurt yourself. I just want you to get the help you need."

"Can you just go? I have to spend the night here and I'd rather just be alone right now." My mum looked hurt by my words but she didn't say anything. She just got up, walked to the side of my bed and kissed my forehead. "I love you sweetie." She whispers when I feel one of her tears fall in my hair. "I love you too mum. I'll see you tomorrow at 3:30?" I ask in a lighter tone trying to lift her spirits. She just smiles and nods her head before making her way out the door. 

I feel really bad about making her cry. I just don't see why I need freaking therapy. I'm fine I only hurt myself. It's not a big deal. I just don't really see how therapy is going to help my situation at all, because I'm not good at opening up and I'm sure as hell not opening up to a stranger.

I look around the room. Ehh at least it's not rehab right? I click the remote to turn the light in the room off. I'm not feeling well enough to have dinner so I'm just going to watch some crappy hospital T.V. to lull myself off to sleep to forget about how horrid tomorrow will be.