Fishermen A Tale Of The Undecisive

Culmination Of Frustrations

One faithfully hot June day, frustration set in on young Vinny. He finally had his break from the restrictive school system, the largest oppressor of his youth. Yet, faith would not show kindness to the boy. Work had unintentionally procrastinated throughout the years of self creation. One cannot help but admit that monumental improvement has taken shape in the boy throughout that time, still it is never enough. Of course a person is never their full self, for one can always gain from learning more and self-improvement never ceases to present the utmost importance. Yet, managing so much of one self is never easy, the lesson Vinny repeats time and time again. Fully aware that the only person preventing his uprising is himself, he must also, paradoxically, constantly struggle with the fact that the only person able to take him to his full potential is also himself. Eternal paradoxes take shape in this constant battle of momentary pleasure and sacrificial achievement. The tragedy lies in the countless triumphs of pleasure. Having the knowledge that a regular activity is destructive and not devoting your utter being to its cancellation is the ultimate sin of the modern world. No matter how aware a person is, befalling to the ways of the norm is never far from their reach. "If only more could see the light..." he wished on. If only he himself truly devoted everything to the cause. If only...

Visions of grandeur never left his fruitful heart, even in the darkest of moments. Such was the case in the attempters of reaching the end early. Of the memories, only fragmented, unconnected and displaced visions remain. The feelings and arguments for committing to the task remain, of course. He has managed to destroy the drive that pushed him to the task in the first place. Such was undoubtedly his greatest achievement yet. But the boy must not waver yet. Victories are no reason for leisure. They are only milestones to be marked and usurped by the victor. The toughest struggle... is gaining. The more he works, the closer he gets. Is it this that stops him from his self defined purpose?

He wonders each day "Since I am fully aware of all counter arguments towards the much proposed end and those arguments fully address and diminish the counter arguments that are leaning towards the end; then shouldn't my desire of brining forth the end be banished from my mind?" His only comfort in the subject is released with this: "Or, should nothing be, since everything is?".

Troubles to the mind and body never cease. Troubles in general are over cumbersome on everyone, from those who hoard unimaginably immoral wealth, to the commonly diabolical and even engrossing the unconventionally righteous. Reaching fulfillment is an everlasting curse for all its seekers. We can only love, appreciate and enjoy what is. Seeking something as imaginary as fulfillment and eternal happiness only leaves us in endless torment.

Expectations are vital for the mind. The height they bring only culminate in everlasting misery. Only once a low expectation reaches grandeur we never thought possible, could our appreciation show. If greatness was already expected, it ruins our surprise and the moment in full. Surprising our own pre-judgments is the only way we can be pleased. The danger with knowing this is that one can hardly make themselves expect low outcomes for the promise of gaining high returns. Just being aware of the fact makes one less likely to limit pleasant expectations, for then he will expect every low expectation to be usurped by the highest of realities.

The more we learn the more answers we need to find; therefore, one might say: "The more we learn, the less we know that we know." Perhaps we truly are eternally doomed to misery. Perhaps only the fool can enjoy the merits of emptiness that fills our society. For the learned and self reflective can never truly enjoy exes, since possessing the knowledge of how horrendously unimportant and even destructive their actions are, only attaches them to visions of importance and improvement; the kinds that can fulfill their souls by bettering humanity. Even if the range of humanity they manage to improve upon is one person. The ability to influence another human being in anything is a profound gift, assuming one uses it to better that person with the approval of said person.

One thing I can surely be certain of is that I will never find out if knowledge itself brings enlightenment or chaos. Arguments for both are perfectly logical, therefore I would presume one doesn't have to be untrue if the other is true. If they are in fact not mutually exclusive, how is it that such a magnificent force is doomed with paradoxical trade-offs? And if the learned is never sure of the difference between reaching enlightenment or chaos, aren't they themselves a fool?

In any case, such thoughts would make any mind wary of the world. Faith would have it that those thoughts made this boy, himself. A lifetime, no matter how perceivably short it be looking at it from the outside (taken both in reference to a regular human lifespan and the average lifespan of an entire species), it is a relatively magnanimous timespan. If one is aware at the start of how precious their time truly is, and if one surpasses the agony such information infuses; than one can bring upon themselves and the world at large all the changes they wish. Regrets only arise from the faults of the beholder. A person who is unsatisfied with the decisions they reasonably made, and who cannot grasp that they are the only problem they have; are cursed with the horrid nature of never understanding, never loving and never agreeing with themselves. Those who trap themselves in mental prisons rarely seem to escape. Their agony is felt, but they are never forgiven for failing their duty as a human. The only person with which one can fully be in agreement with is themselves. Failure in one self is the eternal human sin, forever repeated throughout eternity.

With thoughts constantly changing in sight of new information, Vinny's curiosity at how they still managed to stay the same never left. Love was never enough a reason for anything. His habitual brain would not be entrapped by a couple of sudden dopamine rushes; especially since after they pass, the faults remain revealed. Needs are eternal. If ever he was to do anything, it would have to be a need. Since he did not need a single thing here, the need to take leave was the only course of action for this stoic thinker.