Better Than Words

Chapter 1

~Julianna's POV~

I set down the last heavy box with a sigh and collapsed on my bed. The plain white walls had no value to them, almost like a blank canvas. This was a start of something new. Something that I had to do. Getting away from everything in America was the right choice. All that was left there for me was bad memories. I knew I didn't fit in with this place just yet, but I would just simply have to change my ways. I enhaled the fresh new paint that was still lingering in my room and closed my eyes, promising myself that this is my time to change, to completely turn things around. I knew I could do it, it was just going to take some time. A soft knock on my door made me sit up and a gave a weak smile at the face that I saw.

"Hey Aunt Jane." I mumbled quietly. She came up and sat at the foot of the bed, putting a comforting hand on my knee.

"How are you adjusting kiddo?" She asked in the same tone. The air became thick, I knew immediately where this conversation was heading.

"Alright." I kept my answer short to adjust any further talk. We sat in silence for a good couple minutes before she spoke.

"They were good people Julianna."

And the bomb had been dropped.

"I dont want to talk about it." I muttered and quickly stood up from the bed.

"You can't run from it every time Jules. You never speak of it. It's not healthy to keep it all trapped inside and never talk about things that bother you-"

"No. Stop right there." I cut her off harshly. "What's 'not healthy' is that my parents could purposely choose to leave me alone in this world and be absolutely okay with it. There, that's what's bothering me. And I talked about it. How can you actually be on their side and say they're good people Jane? How? Because right now even saying those words is making me nauseous."

Shock was clear on her face as her brown eyes cut through me. I grabbed my black hoodie and slipped in over my head to embrace me in a comforting warmth as I walked away from the cold tension that was trapped in my room. I slammed the front door shut as I walked down the concrete steps. Little droplets of water began to fall from the sky as I walked down my street, not having a clue where I was going. I flipped my hood up over my head to prevent the rain drops from mixing with the tears on my face.

"This is move was good for me. This move was good for me." I repeatedly muttered as I tried to convince myself all over again.

But how could anything be good for me?

I'm a fucking curse.

Anything or anyone that came near me was bound to be doomed. Nothing ever went my way. That's why I isolated myself, I refused to let anyone in. I was saving them by doing so.

The rain began to pour harder as I made my way to a street that was full of small shops and resturaunts. The drops were falling so hard that I could barely see anything in front of me, and it became hard to move as my black converse sloshed through the giant puddles, soaking my light washed skinny jeans. I saw a small sign to a bakery and stumbled in, creating a massive circle of water surrounding me on white tile. I looked up at the cute shop and admired the interior. The cute little tables and chairs that were pink and the decorated pastries held in a display case made me smile. I was in awe of how this reminded me of the donut shop just down the street from my house back in Virginia.

Instantly flashbacks of my dad carrying me into the store spinning me around until I couldn't breathe from laughter clouded my mind and made me grimance. The pain filled my chest and suddenly this place was becoming more unfriendly.

I shivered as I realized how cold the bakery was and the soaking wet clothes that clung to my body were making me freeze. I embraced myself and tried rubbing my arms up and down repeatedly, attempting to get any sort of warmth I could. I was in the middle of debating whether or not I should go back in the storm to find a warmer place when a deep accented voice piped up.