Chains || Hamilton x reader

1.

(this story lowkey sucks so instead of rewriting it im gonna just continue it and try to make it better as i go)

you are y/n l/n and roughly a dozen or so men just fell into your life and ruined your pizza.
for a little background info:
you were lounging around on your couch, eating a pizza because you felt lazy and you were hungry. it was than that you saw someone fall and hit the bookshelf, knocking the carefully alphabetized pieces of literature to the ground. you heard noises everywhere, but someone stood out... because they appeared on your legs, and more importantly their arms knocked over your pizza.

and now you can use it.
you are y/n l/n, and roughly a dozen or so men just fell into your life and ruined your pizza. now, you had these men lined up and still hadn't counted so you said "headcount. say your number" you pointed quickly to each in turn
"1"
"2"
"3"
"4"
"5"
"6"
"7"
boom

another one and at least 3 missing. great.
"stay here touch nothing" you seethed, stepping away and finding the escapees, dragging two back by the ear and kneeing one in the backside you gave them the instructions as well.
when you, eventually, found your last intruder, these idiots had wasted 25 minutes of your life and ruined your pizza and you didn't even know their names yet.
"attention" you called

nobody listened.

you decided it was best and threatened them "every minute you don't listen to me i'll cut hair off... starting with curly afro" someone laughed "and then i'll do greasy whore" the laughing stopped as you actually picked up a pair of scissors as to not confuse them with a razor yet.
"headcount" you said again "let's go"
"1"
"2"
"3"
"4"
"5"
"6"
"7" the person saying so flinched
"8"
"9"
"10" two flinched
... another thud
"11"
"12"
"...13" the voice croaked in

you got the newbie in line and said "names go."

"aaron burr"
"john laurens"
"thomas jefferson"
"hercules mulligan"
"james madison"
"mari-"
"look i know you have a long name so i'll sum it up for you. hello lafayette." you said continuing along the line as he leaned to look at you.
"alexander hamilton"
you pause and run your fingers through your hair, letting out a sigh of frustration as you slid into the bay window seat.
"wha-"
"not you, thot, shut up... next!" you screaned
"charles lee"
"i stan charles lee and he's in my house now... woah"
"so is alexander hamilton" Alexander mumbled
"but alexander hamilton cheated on his wife, led on his friend, secondhandedly killed his son, and led himself to his own demise"
everyone in the line went quiet
"lee however has done nothing most men aren't guilty of while having an occasional display of cowardice, which fits into the aforementioned category" you concluded
"my god" jefferson said
"you have skill," you said "but i have the defendants history and, with enough practice, that can be all you need" you begun walking away only to stop at the coffee table to order a new pizza on your laptop
"you may be human garbage " you hesitated, hand hovering as you tipped your head towards them giving a small smile for as long as it took you to say the next bit, your h/c hair fell into your face, e/c eyes twinkling as your small smile turned into a grin "but i'll keep you around"

583 words