Trampled

Ruination

8th July 1994

"Hum tum.....Ek Kamare main band ho..." The song played on the radio. Payal Bhatnagar was mindlessly packing her back when she froze to the spot and glared at the radio in horror.

It was that song.

Her mind went blank, her hands and feet numb, chills trickled down her spine, her heart had long stopped beating and bile rose in her belly. 

Everything flashed before her.

Everything.

Tears wanted to break free but there weren't any left now to shed. 

The cool wind blew in from the open balcony. It was raining heavily, the sky was grey but then so was her life. 

Turning around, she staggered towards the balcony, drawn towards her inevitable destiny by an invisible thread.

The wind knocked her back, pushing her away her from the pull of her fate. But taking a step forward, she clutched onto the edge of the balcony. 

She looked ahead but her gaze remained dazed. The rain continued lashing around her like shards of ice, drowning her dreams, slicing her soul . But she didn't register anything.

She was possessed by a thought. A thought triggered by the song.

"Hum tum ek kamare main band ho." The radio continued to blare. 

She slowly got on top of the ledge of the balcony of her eighth floor room and spread her arms wide open, she was embracing her fate. 

Her legs wobbled but her resolve was steel. 

The cool breeze fluttered through her hair and a smile curled her lips.

A dark voice urged within her to do it....it egged her on. Do it, it said, do not be afraid. There is no going back now. 

Jump.

She dived forward. She took the plunge. She felt light. She felt free. Free from everything. She closed her eyes and let the cool wind scrape past her skin.

She felt like the rain. Bubbling. Blithe. Blissful.

Her Maa's smiling face flashed before eyes as she brushed her hair and got her ready for school. Her Baba's laughs echoed in her head as they shared jokes and wound and teased her Maa together.

But her brother. Her brother's memory brought a bright smile to her face.

She was five again, riding her brother's shoulder as they ran home from school through torrential rain.

She was ten now, scrambling on the moist soft ground, collecting all the mangoes her brother had plucked for her, while the gardener yelled threats at them from a distance.

Now she was sixteen, preparing for her boards, her Bhaiyya had stayed up all night, making her cups and cups of tea.

At eighteen, she had topped her college and her brother was now distributing sweets to the entire town, telling everyone with pride that his sister had earned a place at SJS, a top medical college in Nagpur.

And just two days ago, she had made him a Rakhi. It was Rakhi next week, she had planned on tying him once he came to meet her this weekend, he had promised to take her out for a movie and to the restaurant.

But right now, right now everything was over. Her entire life lost in the snap of a finger. 

Bhaiyya, her heart whispered one last time, thank you for everything.