Seeking Salvation

Chapter 12: A life relived (prt 3)

Author's note: lyrics: I need your love by Calvin Harris feat Elle Goulding.

L'amour n'as pas de prix-means love is precious.

Kumicho:Local boss of Yakuza in particular regions.

Seeking Salvation

I need your love.

I need your time.

When everything is wrong.

You make it right.

I feel so high.

I come alive.

I need to b e free with you tonight.

I need your love.

Endymion's beautiful dreams had spiralled into the nightmare memories of his own creation. His months of emotional abuse had left her a nervous wreck, bordering on a deep, brooding depression. The endless confusion and self conscious torment, of never know what to expect from him, how he might react to the smallest situations. The stress on no knowing lingered in the back of her mind always. The dangerous game he played of toying with her affections. Treating her well for a long time, allowing her to relax her guard and start to act naturally. Then suddenly pulling away, growing cold, tearing away all the security she felt in their relationship out from under her feet. Metaphorically tossing her off that emotional cliff at the right times to inflict the proper mental torture needed for Tomoe's experiments. The back and forth between acting kind and cruel to her. A slow emotional cyanide that had poisoned her bright loving personality. Tainting it with personal doubts and loathing of who she was deep down inside. Of endless apologizing, gifts and praise that he only destroyed later in fits of rage and brutal ridicule. He never struck her, his words always brutal enough of a weapon to cause deep emotional wounds. That he wondered bitterly if she could ever heal from them. Hoping, praying that after just one more round of abuse, he would push her over the edge and she would ascend. It was killing him how the light in her eyes had dimmed, how she was changing due to his horrible behaviour. She was always nervous, rarely smiled or had the kind patience for the children. She had begun to whisper to herself, chastizing every mistake she perceived with or without him around. She was confused now, broken and acted very much on egg shells around him. Her inner strength and confidence in herself had long since fled, now her whole being was focused on pleasing him. To make him happy in anyway she could. Memorizing everything he ever said to her, seeking to act and think perfectly as to not rise his ire or disappointment towards her. The tragic thing was no matter how hard she tried, how much of herself she gave up she would never please him.

He had become her torturer, her emotional jailer, and ultimately her final fate.

Beryl had been relentless in her attempts to protect and vindicate her only real friend. She had tossed rotten eggs into his room more then once. Ruined a whole washer full of his clothes down in their communal laundry, by dumping a bottle of bleach into the water. Left nasty notes of revenge and retribution under his door. That were becoming almost psychotic in nature. The other kids her age shunned Beryl. She never quite fit in, acting to grown up, to serious and with her sharp tongue it only made things worse. Serenity had been her only true support here, otherwise she would be left to fend for herself all alone. An eccentric little freak who had no place to belong. An eternal outsider alway cast aside and easily forgotten. Which is exactly what Endymion wanted. He had made Serenity choose him or the lonely little girl a long time ago. Forcing that choice was a nasty bit of emotional ransom that had ultimately froze her heart. She naturally choose him and begun to shun Beryl as well. Treating her with a dismissive, uncaring attitude that broke the little girls heart. He had watched the agony of treating Beryl so cruelly, tore at her soul. She was turning into someone she truly hated, but she loved him so much, was so frightened that he would leave her. She was willing to shed her old self and become someone he could love. He had understood Serenity deepest fear, had attacked her weaknesses to serve Tomoe's purpose. She feared that he would hate her too. That he would stop loving her and just disappear as her