Shifty business

Chapter one: A Rude Awakening

The subway at 3 am is a strange and maniacally magical place. There is a hooded person dressed all in black, a depressed looking clown and woman sleeping on three seats all at once. The hooded person is either sparkling or I'm getting a migraine; let's hope it's a migraine, I don't have time for supernatural stuff. The hooded apparition throws a bundle of papers in my lap and walks away. I wonder why he dumped them in MY lap but hen I realize, I look rather odd. My body has been squeezed into a tight, old-fashioned black dress, and my feet are squeezed into (much too tight for my liking) 6 inch dagger pumps. My bright blue hair has been styled in a way that can only be described as an old fashioned bundle of braids.. Then, realization hits me like a slap in the face. I had fallen asleep out at a party wearing jeans, a tee shirt, flat sandals and I still had pink hair. What happened? I look at the pages which each say the same thing scribilled in messy capitals, "RUN!". I decide to disregard the message because this figure is more than a little sketchy and I'm way too tired and confused to think right now.

I close my eyes hoping that this is all a harmless dream and I will wake up on friend's futon, hung over with my pink hair and smeared makeup. But when I open them...

"Damn it!"

I'm still here on this perpetually moving train for what feels like an eternity. I look inside the purse that has materialized on the seat beside me. I see a packet of makeup wipes, and a roll of bills. I decide to trust the mystery purse for some crazy reason and start to take off the heavy makeup with the seemingly normal make-up wipes. Emboldened by the relative normalcy of the wipes I examine the bills. They look like British Pounds, but blue. Why?! Putting the bills and wipes back in the bag, I notice a big bag of Cheetos and, being extremely hungry, I eat them and mentally resolve to thank whoever blessed me with the power (and powder) of Cheetos. When is this train going to stop? Can you stop, train?

Almost as if the train heeds my thought, it stops and I get off because goodness knows when it'll stop again. I kick off my heels and I walk down a floral path, shoes in hand and a sensation that I've suddenly gotten shorter, which makes sense considering I just took off dagger pumps. I look around again deciding that it's better to be circumspect then dead. I encounter a girl taller than me grinning down at me.

"I'm Mira, and you are?"

"Jayne"

"Why are you all the way out here?" she asks.

"I got lost," I say, deciding it's easier to say that than to tell her the whole story.

"Let me take you back to town," she says with a small but sweet smile.

"Okay." I say

Something in my gut tells me not to trust Mira, but I disregard the feeling because I am incredibly lost and Mira is willing to take me to the town. I walk with her and soon realize something seems rather off...

The path we are walking on grows progressively darker. I'm desperately trying to normalise this, thinking that maybe it is simply the way paths work here? I don't know because I don't actually know where I am. Then, something goes really wrong. Mira's form changes. She's no longer the cute girl wearing an adorable mint dress and a small, sweet smile, but rather a tall, axe wielding man. I try desperately to dodge him and his frequent blows until one untimely attack lightly grazes my cheek. I think of the pages warning me to run and I now regret the decision to ignore it. Then, I remember my dagger pumps. Pulling them out of my deceptively small bag, I throw them, heel first at this strange man who I had believed to be Mira.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, this girl comes rushing in. Instinctively, I throw my other pump at her. She dodges and procures a knife from her above the knee boot, finishing off the monster. She turns to look at me and I suddenly wish I had never thrown my pump at her because she is the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. My mind goes blank.