Piercing Eyes (BoyxBoy)

Prolouge

"Every man has his secret sorrows which the world knows not; and often times we call a man cold when he is only sad."
~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, Hyperion
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It's not on my mind 24/7.

In these three years, I haven't thought about it every second of everyday. But it affects me in ways I can't describe.

I can't be in crowded rooms anymore for the fear of it. 

I can't be alone with a man anymore.

I can't be who I want to be in fear of attracting predators.

I live in constant fear even though I know he's dead.

I can't even think about getting intimate with somebody without having a panic attack.

It's senior year in high school and I'm not ready.

I don't want to live on my own in college. I don't want to not have a reason to leave my room. I don't want to face the world in fear it may happen again.

But then I met him.

And I'm scared.

I'm scared for my life that I may ruin this. I don't want to ruin this at all.

I'm scared that he'll turn into him.

I'm scared I'll turn into him.

I'm a boy so I'm half way there.

I'm scared that me, Cole Day, will screw this up. I don't want to be a mess anymore. But I can't help it.

I don't want to have this constant fear in my heart every time somebody walks past me.

I don't want to fear what my parents will say if I were to tell them.

What anybody will say.

I'm scared that if I open my mouth, everything that happen will become real. 

I'm scared.

But I love him and I'm not sure if I'm ready to let him go.

I don't want to let Oscar go.

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Hey guys! So I changed the story obviously because when I was sleeping, I had a dream about the plot for a book called Piercing Eyes and I wanted to change it up a bit.

Well a lot.

This story is a little bit more personal because it is revolving around serious incidents that happened to the main character, which is that he was sexually assaulted and kept it a secret.

So I hope you continue to read on and if you are dealing with serious issues that there are people you can talk to, like your counselors at school or doctors or parents or a trusted adult.

Love you guys and stay safe.