Ours - Junbob

xv. flashback: junhoe

A/N: I'm always conflicted 'cause I post this book on ao3 too and I just have this mindset that having long chapters on there is good, but on here it's not? I don't even know but there's nothing I can do to satisfy both elements which is annoying. all I know is that I really write a lot and I feel discorded 

I think I'll try to write a few shorter chapters after this one

hope you enjoy though! sorry if there are typos. these flashbacks are really fun to write

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One month ago: Christmas

In all fairness, Junhoe appreciated Christmas. He adored the sentimental side of it, of how people found it a time of joy and celebration and congregation, all sorts of good things. It was a time where the world generally felt lighter and happier, even if it only seemed that way to Junhoe. It was simply enchanting, and it was hard not to fall into the sticky, metaphorical wonderland that Christmas concocted.

Junhoe generally loved how families would stick together and have their own traditions littered in between the conventional ones...but it had been just less than a month since his mother had died and the wound was still horribly fresh. He told his father and sister that he would stay at his apartment for Christmas because it would be far too difficult to do any of the same traditions they used to, and the others agreed with him even though they were a little sad about it. It wouldn't be the same without Junhoe's guitar anyway which he had unfortunately...obliterated on the day of the funeral.

He had to get his emotions out somehow.

"Hey, Jiwon-hyung," Junhoe said on the morning of the imploring, grand Christmas Eve but he didn't feel all that grand. His stomach was a little upset and he wasn't in the mood to do pretty much anything, so it was a good thing he had a week off from work. But he smiled a little when Jiwon instantly snapped his head up, staring at Junhoe with a look that screamed 'why are you talking to me?' with his hand suspended above the bowl of sugar-dusted strawberries next to him.

"Uh, hey." 

"You're not going home for Christmas? I wouldn't mind." 

"This is my home."

Junhoe's heart fluttered a little and he hated it. "You know what I mean." 

"Oh. No, I'm not."

Junhoe nodded as Jiwon went back to reading his newspaper. Junhoe wondered when the hell he had started doing that, and he would've teased him if he had the ability to tease Jiwon...but he apparently didn't. So he just looked at him for a little while, eyeing his newly-dyed purple hair with slight enchantment before he turned around to go back to his room, thinking that he could always eat later. But then Jiwon's hesitant voice made him freeze.

"You wanna just...talk for a while? I'm kinda bored, I guess."

"Oh," Junhoe muttered in surprise as he turned around again, staring at Jiwon for absolute confirmation that he hadn't hallucinated that but it all seemed very real. "Sure. Sure thing."

"Thank God, I've never been alone on Christmas Eve," Jiwon signed in relief as Junhoe took a seat opposite him, the elder smiling at him so warmly that Junhoe almost felt the heat seep gently through his skin. "Such an odd premise."

"Why didn't you go back to your family?"

"I alternate every year. One year with the biological family, one year with the adopted family. And by adopted family, I mean-" Jiwon took a strawberry and bopped Junhoe's nose with the end of it, chuckling when Junhoe felt the sugar on it and shook his head frantically to get it off. "-the guys. And it's so nice that you're here too...you and me, we're friends, right?"