The Truest Soldier-Islamic Life Story

Chapter Eight

"Zaen Kawari." Asima heard him get up from his seat beside her to take the letter the Colonel had for him. She heard some of the others laugh at the sight of two small paw prints on the front if the envelope. Asima shut her eyes, praying this week would be the week for her. She had to know how her brother was doing.

There was a deafening silence after. "Asima Khadhija."

She looked up, open-mouthed. Scrambling to her feet, Asima rushed over to the Colonel. Was he smiling?

An applause broke the silence, surprising Asima as she turned around, letter tight in hand.

"Open it! Open it!" They chanted. Asima looked at her fellow trainees, smiling warily at their encouragement. Her eyes found Zaen's. He nodded, grinning. Asima glanced over her shoulder at the Colonel, who did not seem at all displeased.

Taking a deep breath, Asima slid her finger across the seal and pulled out the paper within.

My baby sis,

It's like you're dead to them. They don't say your name, no one ever goes in your room, and they don't laugh anymore. Can you believe Nakia plans on getting married when she vowed she would never? She said she'd agree to any man mom brought her way. I know this has been your dream for so long, but Asi, you've got to come back. All mom does is cry and dad doesn't even care! They've changed, Asi, and I can't do anything about it.

I wish I could tell you more but I can't concentrate. I can't stand up either. Please come home. It's going to hurt, but you need to turn back on this military dream. But Asi, don't turn your back on us.

The sooner you're home, the better.

Your bb, Adil.

"I bet she's got an old ass husband waiting for her back home," Scar said aloud, sending a light laughter ringing through the trainees. "Looks like you and Zaen–"

Asima looked up and locked her gaze on Scar, unable to hold back.

"Shut the f–"

The rest was lost in the uproar as Asima swung a few punches to Scar's face. With a half-mangled roar, Scar shoved her off him, kicking her ribs.

Tears streamed down her face as Zaen rushed to her side. Asima coughed, pain echoing in her chest with every breath she took. She couldn't bear to believe her brother's words true. She didn't want to. She didn't want to believe it was her fault things had fallen apart back home And Scar. He would never understand anything. Never realize the pain he was causing her.

Because him joking that she was getting married was not funny when it was Nakia's fate. Where was that independent sister Asima had known? And her mother crying? It was impossible for Asima to imagine the fierce woman she called mom reduced to tears at her absence. And her father? She couldn't believe it. Asima knew him always to be the first to listen when her mom had something to say, the first to calm her down in her rage.

Why had they changed so much? And what was so bad that Adil had to tell his condition to her in person? He hadn't mentioned a diagnosis or treatment. Could they not afford it?

"Everyone to their bunker, now!" the Colonel shouted, shaking his head at the outcome . As Zaen helped Asima to her feet, the Colonel handed out the rest of the letters. With Zaen's encouragement, Mikey quickly stole Asima's letter out from prying eyes.

****

Zaen had never seen her so bad before. She had begun to get angry easily, talking back to the Colonel a lot and into fights with Scar. But even with all this, she'd kept to her faith. She prayed, but to what gain?

He could see the disfavor in the Colonel's eyes when the Colonel looked at Asima. Zaen knew that if she didn't fix up her act, she'd never make it past the last week of basic training.

But what could he do about it? Asima's letter remained safely away under his belongings, but what more could he do? Mikey had told him what the letter had said –since Zaen hadn't read it himself– and the amount of suffering and pain she was going through was something he could never imagine.

In the week that followed, Zaen kept an open ear for her and lent a shoulder for her to lean on, giving the Colonel excuses for anything she did or failed to do properly. He was sure the Colonel let him slip by those times because of Zaen's clean record. Not a single fight, never late, and always on top of the training. Zaen had even overheard a couple trainees talk about why he even bothered with Asima.

He knew they were right. He was useless to her if he didn't set things right. Or at least try to make her understand what was being asked of her.

"Wake up, Zaen," Asima's daily call broke him from his sleep. He turned to face her, but the room was too dark to see her face clearly.

He got up anyway, and as Zaen prepared for Fajr prayer, he noticed as Asima forcefully put on her boots, pulling tightly on the strings and stomping her feet in agitation. It was the kind of Asima he didn't like to see.

"'There is no true power but Allah,'" Zaen said aloud, catching her attention. "Nothing has the ability to stop you from being what you are meant to be. If it means going back home, then that's what you're going to do. If it's not, then it's not." Asima remained silent. "So if it meant so much for you to be here, if you gave up so much, why throw it away now? You can still go back– and be a soldier, too."

"Do you honestly believe that?" she asked, her tone bordering on skepticism. "That good can still happen for me, my family, after everything that happened?"

"Well, why not? You're still praying, so I know you believe it."

When he was met with silence once again, Zaen went on to do his Fajr prayer, hoping his words made some significance to her. Because he could not imagine being in the army without Asima's friendship. Not after all that they've gone through for simply believing in Allah.