13 Suicide Dates

Chapter 1 : Coincidence or Destined?

Andrew's POV

God knows I've done so much to go through so much. All the teases, jokes about me. To my parents, I'm an embarrassment and a disgrace. Being the only son with religious parents that never missed any prayer meeting isn't easy. People say it's a blessing, I thought not. Ever since I was basically born, I have to stay at home. And Sunday schools are a priority. I can't have my own phone by the time I'm 15. I'm not allowed to date or have friends over or go out even. Can't watch TV cause TV only showcase bad movies that christian shouldn't watch. Never even watched cartoons like Mickey Mouse. In my eye, my parents are being too much on religions. I've rebelled out once, threw a bible cause they were forcing me to read it. And they called me possessed. Besides my parents, I have friends. Fake friends of course. Only became my friends because I was good looking. And girls would date me because of that either. How do I know? Probably because the girls I've dated are the ones who would tease me everyday in primary school for being a fat loser. Why do I date them, cause I simply wanna break their hearts after. But there's no fun in that, cause I know they'd just move on and get another guy. Friends would betray me just to get girls. I try to be a better person. But people don't just change. Being stress over by my parents, school, and everyone else makes me feel worthless. Cause I would just feel used, parents use me, make me study so they can flaunt to other parents. Friends would use my popularity and money. Love is nothing for me.

"You're not eating?", my mom asked. I just look at my food then look at her. "we've said grace. Be thankful. And eat your dinner", my dad said. I didn't wanna fight back because I know it's useless. "So how's school today?", my mom asked trying to care. "fine, I guess", I answered while playing with my food. "Gerald, have you heard about the rally going on this summer?", my mom asked my dad. "Yeah. You know, Andrew you could join the rally. You know, get close with God. Who knows you can change into a better person", my dad said. I looked at him in anger. "what your dad meant was, maybe you can get to know God more, and you can better than you are now", my mom said thinking it'll calm me down. I put my spoon down and got up. "Where are you going?! We're not done! Andrew Philips you come here right now!", my dad raised his voice. I stopped at the staircase and looked to him, "Am I not good enough for you guys?", I asked in a meaner tone.

"You watch your mouth", my dad said pointing to me.

"Gerald enough", my mom said to my dad. I got fed-up and just walked up the staircase into my room. I banged my door with anger and kicked my backpack that was on the floor. I turned my computer on and play songs by Sam Smith. People would call me a fag or gay for listening to Sam Smith just because the singer is gay. My parents hate Sam Smith for the same reason. I only listen to his song cause I love sentimental songs with deep meanings as it keeps me calm. I raise the volume high on 80 and decided to get washed up before going to sleep.

After washing up, I changed into a white t-shirt and my adidas shorts. I sat on my study table and thought I should read. I lower the music volume so I can concentrate on my reading. I tend to read books on wattpad when I'm bored. Somehow it helps me because I'd get lost in my own world reading a certain novel. I would read romantic books, but it would usually make me feel lonely so I'd read horror or thriller. Writers like Jakayla Toney is my favorite. I love her book Hide and Seek and The Lovely Suicide Children especially cause I could relate to it somehow. While reading the new chapter to The Lovely Suicide Children I can hear my parents screaming at each other. They try their best for me to not notice their fights and arguments, but it never worked. They're just very loud. Annoyed by their screeching I plug in my earphones.

*phone rings* I woke up to my phone ringing. I didn't notice that I had slept on my table. Must have been so tired that I dozed off while reading. My phone was still ringing. I pick it up. "Dude where are you?", I hear Dave through the phone. I got annoyed so decided to hang up. Dave and I are friends since kindergarten but he changed at primary school. For some reason he wanted to be my friend in high school because I was the popular kid and he wasn't. Because of that, I never considered Dave as my friend. I check the clock, it was 2:45 in the morning. I thought of getting back to sleep but I couldn't so, I changed into my joggers and decided to go out for a jog.