Chapter 2 - Part 1

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Adonis

I was tired. The touring schedule had been hard to keep up with especially when I hadn't been getting much sleep since I had agreed to attend Alex's birthday party in a couple of days. The thought of seeing Lacey again had me in knots I couldn't untie.

I boarded the private jet behind my bandmates. We were on our way back home. I'd just taken a seat when my phone started to ring. It was Aiden.

"Hey," I answered my phone.

"Are you on your way back?" he said, the underlying urgency in his voice made me sit up straighter. My immediate thoughts jumped to Lacy.

"Yeah," I said. "The plane is about to take off."

"Good." He sounded agitated.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"Reece called me," he started. "She's worried about Lacey."

I frowned.

"Why?" I asked. He wouldn't be calling me if he didn't feel that it was important. And his anxious tone wasn't helping either.

"She says Lacey has been drinking heavily."

She wasn't supposed to be drinking alcohol with the tablets she'd been prescribed.

"Isn't she still taking her medication?" I asked.

"Yes."

It didn't sound like my Harp. She wouldn't jeopardise her recovery like that.

"I don't understand," I muttered trying to figure out what would make her be so reckless especially after everything she'd been through. "Why is she drinking?"

"Reece doesn't know. There's something up with Lacey but she isn't talking to Reece about it."

Why wouldn't she open up to her best friend if there was something wrong?

This whole time I'd been under the impression that she was doing fine. Granted I got my updates from Alex and he probably had no idea what she was up to. Tired and on edge I pulled a hand through my hair trying to organise my thoughts but my exhaustion made it difficult.

"I wished I could talk to her but she doesn't even remember me," he muttered.

I had no doubt he would be able to reason with her if she hadn't lost her memories of him.

"How much has she been drinking?" I asked needing to know the extent of the issue.

"More than she did before. Reece said it's like she's drinking to forget something."

The irony wasn't lost on me. She had forgotten some of her most important memories so what was she trying to forget?

"Has Reece said anything to Alex or her parents?" I asked hoping that Alex hadn't known about this and kept it from me.

I felt a moment of guilt. I'd been so wrapped up in my own torment, I had believed she was okay. It had made it easier to keep my distance. There was no way in hell I would have left her if she'd been struggling with life after her surgery.

I let out a haggard breath.

"No."

I had the consolation that Alex hadn't lied about it.

"When do you land?" Aiden asked.

"Early tomorrow morning," I answered. I wished I was there already so I could get the answers I wanted.

After I got off the phone the last person boarded the flight, Trisha. She was our manager's assistant who helped keep us to our schedules and generally helped with any small issues we had.

She smiled as she took a seat beside me. I didn't mind. She was interesting to talk to and I could do with the company. I was too wound up after what Aiden has revealed to contemplate sleeping.

"You look like crap," Trisha said as she buckled the seatbelt.

"Thanks," I replied dryly. She was very direct even to the point of blatant.

"It's the truth," she said with a shrug.

I rubbed my forehead trying to ease the slight headache I was starting to get.

"What's up?" she asked, as she studied me. She was pretty perceptive but it didn't take a genius to see something was one my mind.

I didn't feel close enough to her to open up about Harp and what I'd just found out.

"I'm just tired from working too hard," I said, hoping she wasn't going to ask anymore questions.

"You still worried about your friend?" she asked taking me by surprise.

Lacey and her surgery hadn't been a secret. It had been plastered all over the news for the first few weeks after her surgery. I'd been determined to keep her out of the media. Anyone who'd asked what she was to me I'd told them that she was my best friend's little sister and a good friend, nothing more.

Only my band mates knew how close we'd been before her memory loss. I wasn't comfortable revealing too much because I was worried that if it got out it would put Lacey in the media spotlight. I knew how difficult it was having every action and moment recorded and judged by the media and my fans. It would just make things worse for Lacey. And she was going through enough.

"Yeah a little," I answered down playing how much Lacey influenced my life. The truth was my life revolved around her. That was why it had been so hard to carry on without her.

Everything I'd thought about her carrying on her life without any problems just increased my guilt because it hadn't been the case. Both of us were struggling with our lives post surgery.

What was she going through that had made it easier to cope with alcohol? When I'd realised that there was  a chance her memory loss was permanent I'd gone through a stage where I'd turned to alcohol to help numb the pain. But I had learnt quickly it was only a temporary fix and would cause more problems if I had continued.

It had been Link who had pulled me aside after another night of heaving drinking that I'd nearly passed out in a club.

"What the hell are you doing?" he had asked, with a disapproving look. Even though we were the same age he acted more like an older brother who was wiser beyond his years.

I hadn't answered because I'd known that what had happened to me hadn't justified me trying to drink myself into oblivion. After a lengthy lecture on what I'd be throwing away if I had continued I had made the decision there and then to find better ways to deal with my problems.

Every minute on that flight had felt so much longer. I knew it was because I was worried about Lacey. Every possible reason for her behaviour I analysed the entire flight home. Nothing could hold my attention for a few minutes. No type of distraction could make me think of anything but her and the guilt that somehow I had failed her.

There was no point in wondering why I hadn't found out earlier, all I could do was try and figure out what I was going to do about it now.

Initially the specialist had told me that trying to force her to remember could have a more destructive result. He'd advised us all to let her remember on her own. We had all agreed to keep details of what she'd forgotten from her but now I wondered if it had been the right thing to do.

It hadn't worked. As far as any of us knew she hadn't remembered anything.

Maybe it was time to be honest with her and lay everything out in the open. For the first time since she'd lost our memories I felt a little hope.

If I touched her hand and held it my hand would she remember how it felt? Would she remember if I brushed my lips against hers softly?

I let out a deep breath trying to calm myself. I didn't want to get too hopeful and be disappointed if it didn't happen. Even if she didn't remember what we had, would admitting how I felt about her and telling her how we'd fallen each other at least give us a shot of recapturing what we'd lost?

Glancing down at my watch I calculated the time until I would see her again. This time instead of just dread, I felt nervous and anxious but at least I had some hope.

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