Until We Drown : Vhope

【パート12】

Yoongi doesn't know when it started, and he doesn't recall how, either.

Maybe it'd been during his frequent visits to Divenire headquarters to check in on Taehyung, or his quick ventures to the city to observe and understand the location better, but Jungkook was slowly taking over his position as leader in the gang, and he doesn't know how to deal with it.

It wasn't that he felt like his authority was diminishing, per se, but the connection the gang once had when Taehyung was a part of it was no longer there, like an empty void filling what used to be a tight knit group. It was as if he was leading an entirely new gang with faces he didn't
recognize. And there were faces that he was unfamiliar with, simply because he hadn't bothered
getting to know the new recruits on a deeper level than the original members. In reality, it was mostly because Jungkook had invited the new Syloe members carelessly without thinking it through nor did he bother getting his permission before recruiting them.

But Yoongi brushed it off because they needed more members anyway. If it was for the matter of the group, Yoongi never hesitated to agree.

Jungkook had taken the responsibility of teaching the new recruits about their strategies for feeding as well as the other things Yoongi used to be in charge of. He didn't mind taking care of the alpha priorities, considering he'd started the gang to begin with, but now that Jungkook had been adamantly offering to help him out with the duties, he didn't mind splitting the responsibilities, and he definitely wasn't going to complain. Jungkook's sudden interest in the
alpha roles had Yoongi wondering more than once, but he thinks if he were to hand over the alpha
position to anyone else, it would be Jungkook without a doubt.

He thinks Jungkook had matured alarmingly fast, eyes hardening from the innocent look they used to illuminate when Taehyung was still with them. The thought makes his chest hurt at the realization that the Jungkook he'd found huddled over a can of ravioli years ago was no longer
there, replaced with cracks and tears filled with sadness like cement.

Yoongi wishes he could mend his worn heart, but even he doesn't have strong enough hands to heal a broken soul.

But as he considered the situation later in the night, Yoongi knows his role as leader was slowly but surely starting to slip out of the palms of his hands.
And even if he wasn't going to admit it, he wasn't doing anything to tighten his grasp, like throwing memories down the drain.

For as long as Hoseok could remember, he had always grown up resenting his parents.He doesn't remember a time when he'd shared a proud memory of them, and he certainly doesn't recall any times he'd felt like they were a family. For twenty-one years, Hoseok only remembered them in fragments that reminded him of how alone he'd always been, like a torn up picture with missing pieces and a hole straight through the center where smiles were supposed to be.

He'd spent countless nights wide awake from endless curiosities about what his mother's favorite color was or his father's favorite dessert. He wonders if cooking breakfast in the morning with them - egg shells in his hair and pancake batter on his nose because maybe his mother had
smeared it teasingly on him - could have been one of his favorite things to do if they'd done it.

He wonders if he'd be stronger if only he'd been able to crawl into bed between his parents on nights
when the thunder was too loud. And on some night, he wakes up crying when he forgets for a just a moment what his parents looked like.

But during those years, Hoseok had found people to fill the emptiness he felt in his chest, like peering into beer bottles and squinting to find the bottom. He'd found Namjoon to fill the left side of his chest, Seokjin for the right, Jimin for the gap under his ribcage, and Taehyung for the
emptiness in his heart.