Until We Drown : Vhope

【パート11】

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"What do you guys think you'd be doing if you weren't in Divenire?" Seokjin asks thoughtfully.

Hoseok, Namjoon, and Seokjin are in the library's blueprint room, helping the newcomers with strategy studies. Hoseok and Seokjin had joined Namjoon after they'd spent the better part of the morning bringing in the new shipment of weapons from upper Seele, sorting them into their
respective rooms and making sure the extras were locked up securely in storage.

Jimin was still on guard duty with Taehyung, but something about his absence felt strange as the three of them casually passed the time, talking aimlessly about things that held no weight, about everything and nothing all at once. Hoseok thinks it’s okay because most of the time, the weight
on his shoulders is too much that even he couldn’t handle it.

Namjoon leans back in his chair, legs draped over the surface of the table like the rebels in the movies with nice hair. He grabs the pen behind his ear and taps it rhythmically on his knee.
"Maybe an author. Or a music artist," he drawls out slowly, eyes squinted in contemplation.

Hoseok smirks, "Emotional, huh?"

Namjoon throws the pen at him, but Hoseok dodges it swiftly,picking it up from the floor and hitting Namjoon square in the chest.

Seokjin rolls his eyes and sits up straight. He crosses his arms on the table, "Not going to lie, I'd probably be a chef."
Hoseok looks down at his hands as Namjoon and Seokjin turn to him expectantly, unintentionally
avoiding eye contact to think about a good response. He collapses back against his chair, cocking his head to one side. "I don't really know. I guess so long as I'm happy, I don't really care what I'd be doing," he responds with furrowed brows, staring at a random spot behind Seokjin's head.
Namjoon snickers, "Who invited the hippie?"

Hoseok kicks his foot from under the table and grumbles, "Don't be an ass, I'm being serious." He turns to glance at the group of newcomers, huddled over blueprints and handouts with various formation studies and makeshift scenarios. He thinks about how they’ll be doing that for years to
come.

Hoseok remembers the days when he was once a newcomer, working on the same things with Namjoon hovering over his shoulder, pointing here and there to help him understand. "I mean, be honest. Are you guys happy here?"

Namjoon's smirk falls from his face, expression growing serious as quickly as the air thickening in the room.
Seokjin seems to notice, too, because he sits back and pretends like he didn’t hear the question.

Hoseok knows the question hits home because Namjoon had been at Divenire the longest,growing up as a child at the base the same way most children grew up in regular homes with freshly baked cookies in a jar every morning. And although Namjoon would never admit it,
Hoseok knows he pretends as much as they do about being fully content at Divenire, throwing on a mask to hide the disinterest in the monotonous lifestyle. He could tell by Namjoon’s dull eyes that were always a dead giveaway.

In the end, Namjoon was afraid of facing the real world, resorting to hiding behind the secure walls of Divenire like a child hiding behind his parents.

Just in time, one of the newcomers approaches Namjoon for help on a question. Namjoon locks gazes with him for a long moment before turning his attention away. He knows Namjoon will run the question over and over in his head like his favorite song until the words taste bitter on his tongue.

This wasn’t happiness.

“I remembered another fragment of my own memories the other day I fed on you. And it was really nice, I mean, other than your blood. I had to be about sixteen I’m guessing, but I was sitting with my dad cutting these really red apples that sliced like, I don’t know, like there wasn’t any
other day better than that exact moment to cut them in half. I imagine that they tasted incredible.”

Hoseok watches the glint in Taehyung’s eyes as he speaks, like stars in the night sky, grin in place as he explains the memory in vivid detail as if any second, he’d forget and let it regrettably slip through his fingers. He nods along from outside of the glass, “Don’t you know what apples taste like?”

Taehyung shakes his head and pulls his lips to one side, “I know what they should taste like, but when it’s on my tongue, it isn’t remotely the same. Kind of like chewing on candles for humans?”

He scoffs and shakes his head slightly, “But I bet that apple I remembered cutting probably tasted as wonderful as you.”

Hoseok’s cheeks tint a bright red, but he wills himself to calm down, knowing Taehyung could smell it. “Yeah, maybe,” he mutters,pretending that the loose thread of his shirt is highly interesting in comparison to Taehyung’s “compliment”. By the way Taehyung smiles warmly at him, tapping on his chin, he knows he’s been caught.

“Oh, I’ve been forgetting to tell you about your memories,” Taehyung speaks up, but his expression is somewhat distant, and he wonders if maybe Taehyung had seen something he’d forced himself to forget long ago, suppressed like the nights he submerged himself under water,
wondering if he had the guts to stay under until his lungs stopped working.